You Were Always With Me
by glo1196
Summary: Kate struggles with PTSD over her torture during "In the Belly of the Beast." How could Fowler mess things up so badly? Is Bracken really Lazarus and what does this all mean for Beckett and crew? (6x17 continuation) COMPLETED!
1. Chapter 1

**A continuation of episode 6X17 "In The Belly of the Beast." The best drama episode of the series! Kudos to the entire crew and cast, especially Stana Katic for an incredible performance. **

His fingers gentle lightly over her previously porcelain skin, now marred with angry colored bruises,roughened red skin and fierce open cuts. He breathes her in, as she fitfully sleeps in the warm curve of his body, his arms wrapped protectively around her, her face ensconced in the crook of his neck. Her breath cascades warmly over his cooling skin, as he once again tries to contain the myriad of emotions barreling through him.

In the empty darkness of their bedroom, Castle finally closes his eyes and thanks a higher power for her life and another chance at their forever. His heart stutters angrily at the thought of the evil that almost stole her from him. Who without a second thought would have snuffed her life essence from this world.

Kate's body unconsciously seeks him in her sleep. Molding herself to the planes of his body and instinctively seeking his warmth and love. Sleep sadly eludes him as he watches over her. Watches as all his hopes, dreams, and desires tangle in this beautiful woman who stole his heart years ago, and his thoughts drift...drift into a darkness he can't quite escape.

They came so dangerously close today. Her crumpled, tortured body found bound and beaten just feet from the man sent to dispose of her. His blood pooled against her as it had leaked from his body, blood from her injuries mixing with his in the cold wet dirt surrounding them. Her hands and feet tied so tightly bound that the ties had cut through the pale skin of her wrists. Her hair matted and crusted with dirt and blood.

Unconscious, cold and traumatized she hadn't responded to them upon arrival. Her body hung,limp and cold as he put her in the ambulance. Not until they were well on their way to the hospital, had she come to gasping and calling desperately for him. Her eyes clouded and unseeing as she tried to claw herself away from a perceived danger.

He reached for her, trying to calm her with his voice, afraid of hurting her if he touched her. As her visions cleared she had thrown herself at him and had sobbed incoherent words into his neck oblivious to those around her. Stroking her hair he whispered his love and tried to soothe her. Wondering what horrors had she endured to have broken her like this. A vile hot anger coursed through him as he calmed her.

She had been reluctantly released from the hospital. To the dismay of her doctors, Gates and Lanie who had really wanted her to stay overnight. She had shaken her head stubbornly and promised to follow their orders, if she could just go home. Home with him, to him. No one understood she only needed him. Only he could put her scattered pieces together.

They had stopped at the precinct and given her statement. Espo and Ryan grasping at anything that could lead to who had done this to her. Angry when they finally conceded that Vulcan Simmons was untouchable for now, and she was still at risk.

Castle recognized the moment she had put the pieces together and had figured out who had been behind this, the boys following suit quickly. Her eyes searched his and let him know that this fight was far from over.

Castle had taken her home, fed her, then slowly walked her into the bathroom. Her eyes wide with panic as she spotted the shower and bath tub. He had gently undressed her, joined her in the shower and reverently washed all traces of the night away. His tears merging with hers as they watched blood pool around their feet, and then slither down the drain reminding them of how close they had come to loosing everything. Stepping out of the shower he gently tended to her wounds and wrapped her in her warmest robe.

Before bed she had seen Bracken's Presidential announcement and the political chest he had already amassed. They had discussed how the score was now even and next time Bracken and her met, one of them would not survive. There was nothing more to say, they knew that there was no escaping it. They knew that together they would stand.

He had walked her to bed and had slipped in next to her, desperately needing to feel her body against his. She had reached up and kissed him so reverently he felt his breath escape him and his heart race.

"I waited my entire life for you, Castle." Her fingers slowly tracing the line of his jaw.

"You brought love back into my life, when I had shut it out. I built a wall, you bulldozed through it. I'm not ever going to give that up without fighting with everything I have. I want this, Rick. I want everything, all of it, because of you. You are everything." Her lips ghost softly over his as she draws him closer.

A tear escapes and runs down his cheek. She kisses it away then kisses him again soundly. He watches her and captures her hands kissing them with such adoration in his eyes.

"I was so helpless, Kate. So angry at Captain Fowler for putting you in danger, for putting his case before your life. He risked you life like you were expendable." His eyes brimming with unshed tears, anger suddenly coursing through him.

"Rick, Gates offered me an out. She said I didn't have to do it, but at the time it seemed like a simple thing to do. I wanted to help." She scrapes her fingers through his hair and places soft gentle kisses on his eyes to soothe him. " I wouldn't have done it, if I had thought it was dangerous. You mean more than anything to me."

"You were there with me the entire time, Castle. You urged me to not give up. You gave me the strength to keep going, because I knew you would eventually come for me. You never left me."

He holds her so close he feels he may be hurting her, afraid to tell her he may never let her go again.

"I love you, Kate. Please don't leave me, I love you." The words reverberate through both of them as the images crash into them of another time. A time where those words caused her to run, but now they swell her heart and give her strength and courage.

"Look at me, Rick. I love you, but this is now not then. Now, I want you to love me. I need you to love me. Show me how you love me, Rick. Please?" She kisses him with all the passion and love she has for him. "Please make me feel alive."

He looks at her and is overwhelmed by the look in her eyes, by the undeniable love emanating from her. She is every dream he has ever had.

"Your wish is my command." He growls as he kisses a path from her neck to the warm valley between her breasts. His fingers carefully sliding down her toned stomach. He will pay homage to her tonight and make her feel as loved as he does. Because Bracken has money, and he is a force of evil to be reckoned with, but they're more, and together Bracken will have one hell of a fight. Tonight he will show her his love and devotion making sure she remembers his eternal love for her.

Long after she has fallen into this fitful sleep, he replays the better part of the day with her. The morning when her smile lit up the room as she told him she knew exactly what kind of font they needed. The talk they had had, where she told him in her words how she loved him, and then he had slowly sunk deep into her wetness and felt one with her until both of them shattered together in bliss. His eyes felt heavy, as sleep finally overtook him, and his final thoughts before sleep swept him into darkness were of her swollen with their child in a not so distant future.


	2. Chapter 2

**This was going to be a one-shot, but it kept me up last night, nagging fir more. So, here it is. All mistakes are mine, but sadly the Castle crew is not. Hope you enjoy and kept me know what you think. Have a good one :)**

She's in that blissful moment in time where you're not fully awake, but not totally asleep. Her minds wanders through a musky darkness, hard cold stone beneath her knees. A cold icy chill barrels through her as searing pain takes her breath away. Bolting up she gasps desperately for air, her lungs scream in pain as shards of ice and water fills them. Stark white panic flows through her veins. NO, this can't be happening, not again.

Suddenly a tender warmth penetrates the coldness trying to engulf her. A soft breath sweeps over her collarbone, his soothing voice calls her name. Her mind searches, claws for what she wants...

It's that moment, when the fog of sleep lifts away from the terror of her nightmare and the calming voice and tender touches of her fiancé penetrate the all encompassing fear, that she knows she safe. The tension ebbs away leaving only the pounding of her heart and the strong grip of her fingers clenching his shirt.

"Kate, it's ok. I'm here. It's ok..." She hears the tenderness mixed with a consuming sadness in his voice. "I've got you." Her thoughts calm but her body continues to tremble as reality finally spreads it's tendrils through the last remnants of her dream, and brings her back to him.

Slowly she focuses on the shiny blue orbs filled with love and concern, she finds comfort in the way he looks at her, the way he loves her. It's at times like this when she can't understand why she had pushed him away for so long.

She reaches up drawing his face to hers, placing a soft kiss onto his lips. Her finger trail the crease of his brow and the worry lines she knows are her doing. They trace the lips that long ago were only part of her dreams and fantasies. Her thumb brushes the dark circles under his eyes, as she studies the worn lines of his face, before pulling him again for kiss. She feels how his love filling all the cracked and empty spaces, left by those who've left her, or abandoned her.

"I love you, Castle." She whispers as her fingers map his face. "You were right you know?" She watches his expression change, and an eyebrow quirk upon question. "I was, hiding in no where relationships with men I didn't love, because I was so afraid of the man I did. I knew then, that I cared for you much more than a partner or friend."

"I loved you when we were locked in the freezer. I tried to tell you, then in LA we came so close, Castle. I came out, but you were just closing the door to your room. I wanted you but I was to late. I have loved you for so long. I've waited so long, no one, not Vulcan Simmons, Bracken or 3XK and his creepy girlfriend is going to get in the way of this."

It's not often her fiancé is struck wordless, but he's dumbstruck by the revelations she has uncovered. It's his body that finally responds to her as he envelopes her with his arms and kisses her soundly. His hands begin to wander, exploring her soft warm curves. Her lips trail down the thick column of his neck, nipping, kissing and letting her tongue taste...

When they're interrupted by a loud knock at the door. It's 8:30 am and neither of them expect anyone. Kate slips her extra piece from the locked night stand on her side of the bed and into the garment pocket. Both walk to the door when the knock becomes more impatient, and the voices of their partners loud whispers drift through the door.

"We should've waited." Ryan complains to Espo. "She's gonna kill us, if we're interrupting..."

"Nah man, she would to have want this. Would you have wanted that to go into evidence, if it were you?"

"If Gates finds out she going to bust us down to traffic duty. Stealing evidence?" Ryan whispers back.

"You kidding me bro? It's been misplaced. No one will ever know. Besides Gate's about to have Fowler's head served on a platter. Now, stop griping and knock again will ya!" Espo looks at Ryan and is about to knock when the door suddenly swings open, revealing Beckett and Castle with their arms crossed and smiles on their faces.

"How do you two ever manage surprise a suspect?" Espo and Ryan look at each other and shrug, as Castle and Beckett wait patiently.

"Nice robes," Espo points out as he wiggles his eyebrows.

"I gather you two are here for something?" Castle asks as Ryan pulls out a brown envelope and thrusts it at them. Kate's eye remain fixed on Espo until he points at her attire, wiggles his eyebrows and mumbles, "That look, looks good on you Beckett."

"This belongs to you, Castle." Ryan thrust the envelope at Castle and turns to Beckett. "We didn't think this was anyone else's business but yours. CSU found it when they went through the room they kept you in." Turning towards the elevator they start walking away.

" Must have gotten misplaced when the box was getting put away, or something?" Espo tells them over his shoulder. As they reach the elevator, Ryan swing around and faces Castle and Beckett.

"Oh, and the Captain says she doesn't want to see either of you love birds until Friday." Kate shoots him a look and then rolls her eyes, as Espo gives her that "I know what you're going to be doing," smile.

As the elevator doors close on their partners, they turn and walk back towards the apartment.

Castle carefully studies the envelope he's been handed. "Kate?" He searches her face for clues as to what he is holding. Her eyes brim with tears as she reaches up and kisses him on the cheek.

"It's for you, Babe. I...I just wanted you to know. I just didn't want you to ever have to doubt...In case, well, you know." He's the writer, the one who can mold words into something extraordinary. So she gives him a quick hug intertwines their fingers together and leads him to their quietly into their bedroom.

**Thanks for reading!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Here is chapter three of this story. Thank you, everyone who has reviewed, followed or favorited. Sorry to keep you waiting on Castle's reaction to the letter, but I promise it will be good. I also want to acknowledge my new beta who wants to remain anonymous. THANK YOU! Hope you enjoy!**

She can feel his presence against her back, the warmth of his breath on the back of her neck, the occasional brush of his body against her, as they walk towards their bedroom. His large fingers firmly intertwine around hers, in a way that makes her feel like she's anchored to him. Like she's safe.

Her mind instantly flashes back to that moment. That precise moment she determines that maybe, this time, she wouldn't get her happy reunion, and all her thoughts had focused entirely on him.

The room she had been taken to was beautiful, museum like in its decor, but there was no mistake, that this room was anything but a glorified cell. The minute the door had closed behind her, she had heard the distinctive sound of the lock mechanism engaging. Whether they thought she was a low level drug carrier or a hired assassin, freedom was not going to be a viable option. She needed to find a means of escape before her cover as Elena Markov was blown.

There was no question Mr. Harten's already suspicious of her. Impersonating a hired killer isn't going to be an option much longer, and her chances of getting out of this alive were getting slimmer by the minute. She was desperate, time was running out. She needed to somehow let Castle know what he truly meant to her, what their partnership meant, and how he had been on her mind and in her heart, always.

"Kate." His voice brought her out of her memories. "Kate are you ok?" His total love and concern for her etched in every corner of his face, in the way he speaks her name, the way he touches her. No one had ever made her feel the way he does, and he needed to know it.

She slowly leads him to their bed, and pats the space next to her, as she sits. Smiling at him, she reaches up and runs her thumb across his cheek and to the back of his head, gently caressing the short hairs on the back of his neck, she guides him towards her waiting lips. Her kiss is light and loving, just a reflection of her love for him. She pulls away and tries to explain.

"Castle, you already know that when my mother died everything inside me died too. Later when I lost my Dad to the bottle, what little of me that was left, shattered too. I put up this impermeable wall around my heart. I heard the terrible whispers about detective ice queen at the precinct, the hard nosed detective with a flair for the weird ones, and they weren't wrong. I wanted it that way. I wanted to keep everyone at a distance. Every time I let my guard down, I was reminded that love was not in the cards for me. There was my mom's death, followed by the years I lost my dad, then Royce, Will. After that my walls were so high that I always had one foot out the door ready to bolt before I could get hurt. Then you barged your way into my life, Rick. I despised you, and your playboy ways, yet somehow without my permission the self absorbed, 10 year old jackass, on a sugar rush started finding cracks in my armor. For every wall I put up, you scaled them with a ladder. For every draw bridge I raised you found an unlocked back door, and before I knew it, you were firmly rooted inside my walls, and I was afraid you'd leave. I was afraid of life without you."

She took both his hands in hers and looked longingly at him. "It took hanging off a building and wanting no one but you with me, to finally open my eyes. My greatest regret that day, was not haven told you how much I loved you. My mom's case means the world to me, Castle. It has driven me for 20 years, but my mom is never going to come back. I want to bring her justice, but not if I have to give up my life, my future, with you."

"Kate, I don't understand? What's all have to do with what's inside this envelope?" He flips the nondescript envelope in his hand.

Kate looks down at her feet, hiding her face from him in a cascade of chestnut curls. Her voice is low and full of pent up emotion. "What's in there is my letter to you, Castle. When I thought I wasn't going to be able to get out, I lifted the pen from a desk and found some paper. I made sure that if that room was ever searched, CSU would find trace amounts of my blood on a heating grate. They'd take the grate down, and find what I had carefully hidden inside. I needed to make sure you knew, Castle. That you heard from me how amazing you are and what you mean to me. I didn't want you to question it, because I know I'm not the easiest person to know. I don't always say what I feel, and you deserve that. You deserve so much more. You're the one who molds words into the extraordinary, Castle."

Kate rises from the bed and drops to her knees before him. She gathers his hands and brings them to her lips then firmly places them between her breasts over her bullet scar. "The bullet to my heart hurt less than the thought of never telling you I loved you, or never feeling you by my side again, Castle. Every time they dunked my head in the water, it was you, your words and your love that kept me going. You were with me Babe."

Kate stands, cradles his head against her stomach and runs her finger through his hair. "It's up to you, if you want to read it. I wrote it for you. Now I'm going to go make us some coffee. I know I can sure use a cup, right about now." Quickly bending forward she brushes her lips tenderly to the crown of his head, turns and heads for the kitchen.

Castle watches her walk through the door of their room, then his study and into the kitchen. He marvels at the creature he now calls his fiancé, and the strides she's made since he's met her, that fateful day 5 years ago. Carefully, he places the letter for the time being on his nightstand and walks out to join her For breakfast.

"Kate do you remember what font..."

**Thank you and have a great weekend! One more chapter left. If you want updates or just want to keep in touch via twitter follow me glo1196 :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed, favorited, and followed this story. I appreciate it greatly. This one shot has taken a life of its own, and to be honest I'm letting it take me where it wants. I hope you guys all cone along for the ride. ** **Castle still isn't mine, but I can only hope. Looking forward to Mondays episode, but I'm not prepared yet for the finale!**

Their morning starts out fine, as they chat over breakfast. Both suggesting things to do on their Gates enforced days off. Both Martha and Alexis join them for a while before they go their separate ways. In the bedroom, the letter stays undisturbed and neatly folded on the nightstand waiting for the right moment.

As the day progresses, Castle feels an underlying tension slowly ease into their day. By late morning, no matter how hard they try, no matter how much they overlook the elephant in the room, they can't recreate the mood and feel of their precious day lost. The beautiful memory of what could've been fades into just a dream. Replaced by a dark ominous cloud hanging precariously over them, a nervous energy they can't quite Shake off.

They try to read the paper, but both of them take sly, little glimpses of the other over the top of the page. They pull out the fonts for their "Save the Date" and randomly sort through the stack. Teasing each other about what font they really need, but neither takes it past the playful banter. He can tell that she's not feeling herself, and catches glimpses of the dark purple bruises now emerging all over her body. He cringes every time he discovers another one, but says nothing to her.

He makes them scrumptious sandwiches and milkshakes for lunch, adding extra strawberry syrup to hers, a cherry adorning the top. She barely touches her food, moving it around her plate, and nibbling at the corners. Her eyes follow him as he cleans up their dishes after lunch. He turns the water on in the sink, and her heart hammers loudly in her chest, an unexplained chill creeps through her veins. There's a nervous feeling settling over her and she tries desperately to drown it, she doesn't want this to happen again. She quickly suggests a John Wu marathon, but neither is really in the mood, instead they settle on the couch, flipping through the channels.

They absentmindedly watch a Firefly episode while cuddling on the couch. After a while Kate moves her head down onto his lap. He runs his fingers aimlessly through her curls. His touch so soft and mesmerizing, it lulls her into sleep. He notices when her breathing evens out and sleeps finally claims her.

He's been worried about her all day. She seems jumpy, a little irritable, but he can't put his finger on it.

Just as he is nodding off, Kate startles in his lap. Her body tenses then jerks unnaturally. She tries to breath, her breath becomes choppy and she struggles for air. Her hands remain frozen at her sides as her body jerks, she gasps and struggles. Her head shakes violently, barely human sounds escape from her lips.

She's back in the cold dank cellar, fear coiling through her veins like ice. She can feel Vulcan Simmos behind her, his large beefy hands wrap tightly around the zip ties digging painfully into her wrist. His other hand delves into the back of her neck, fingers grasping the sinew of her neck, assuring dark purple bruises, if she lives.

Vulcan thrusts her into the bone chilling ice water without warning, he maintains her head below the surface. Violently she struggles to free herself from his grip. The need for air burns in her lungs. He whips her head up. She greedily gasps for air, before she is dunked again. Her thoughts focus on Castle, she tries to draw strength from them.

"Let's do without all this Kabuki theater, Detective. It's undignified. Tell me what I want to know and I'll give you a proper death without all this messy suffering." His baritone voice vibrates through her body.

Still gasping and trying to catch her breath, he shoves her forward. Kate bends over the tub of water expelling water from her lungs. Standing up, Vulcan Simmons swings his chair around so he's sitting directly front of her. She tries to fills her mind with images of Castle. Reminding herself of moments where they have defied the odds. She knows he's out there looking for her, and all she needs is to hold on.

"What was your mission and what do they know about Lazarus?"

"Do you want undignified? Then wait 'til you see what I do to you." She spits out at him harshly, wanting nothing than to wipe the vile smirk off his face.

Her bravado amuses him. He's more than willing to play with his prey, until he gets bored. He briefly admires her tenacity, her blind dedication. What a waste on an officer of the law.

"You know, you're just like your momma. Both playing in worlds where you don't belong." He taunts her, knowing exactly what to say to agitate her.

She screams and lunges toward him before Harten grabs her and holds her back. She struggles against him but knows she has no leverage.

"Your momma paid for it with her life. So will you. But first..." He nods to Harten.

Beckett's head plunges back into the water. She struggles, but not as much as before, she's slowly losing her fight. She can feel the cold water tearing through her lungs, the numbness creeping through her body. She tries to fight it, wants to fight for her life with Castle, their future but it's becoming futile.

"Tell me what I want to know!" He growls at her between clenched teeth. Harten pulls her head back out and she gasps, but he gives her no time before he pushes her back under, again and again. At some point she feels her head crash against the bottom of the tub. She becomes disoriented, the coppery taste of her blood in the water, fills her mouth. she can't give up, not now, not like this.

Finally the water stills and she no longer struggles. Eyes open, lungs no longer straining for breath, she lies listlessly in the frigid water. When Harten pulls her out, she doesn't gasp for air. Her head lolls back and she's barely conscious as her eyes roll back into her head and he drops her to the floor. Everything hurts...

"Kate! Kate, wake up!" Castle's voice slices through the thick fog of her dream. "Kate, please wake up!" His voice is desperate and she tries to focus on it. Her body shakes and fear once again overcomes her.

Arms wrap fiercely around her, she struggles and fights against the constraint. Yanking away, she frees her right arm, bring her elbow up and into her assailants face. She hears the bone crushing impact and she quickly swipes the legs out from under her captor, before she is on him again, delivering a quick but effective kidney punch. Hands quickly try to restrain her wrists, and her captor quickly uses his weight against her trapping her helplessly below his body.

"Kate wake up! Please, before you hurt yourself. Kate, you're home. It's me. Please wake up!" She can hear Castle far away. Her mind starts to clear and eyes focus on the scene around her.

She's lying on the floor, with Castle straddling her body, he's pinning her arms to her sides. Blood is streaming from his nose and a gash over his right eyes. He is gasping for air and looks pained. The lamp on the end table is lying on the floor. The sofa is crooked, and the coffee table is upended, magazines and remotes strewn across the floor.

"Are you ok?" He asks, his eyes full of concern for her, as she shakes her head.

It's then she fully comprehends what has just happened, she is overcome with guilt and remorse. Crawling out from under Castle as quickly as possible she scrambles into the corner of the room. She examines the hands she just used against the person she loves most in this world.

The person who's memory kept her alive through this ordeal, sits bloodied and in pain just a few feet from her. Drawing her legs up against her chest, she wraps her arms around her knees and hangs her head down in shame. It's then Castle sees and hears the most heart wrenching thing he has ever heard. Kate breaks down in heart wrenching sobs, while rocking herself in the corner of his living room.

" Oh my God Castle, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Castle, I'm so sorry," repeatedly between sobs, and for the first time since he has known his beloved detective he's at a total loss as to what to do.

**You can follow me on Twitter glo1196.** **On Pintrist glo11962 hope to see you on both! Have a great day!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed, favorited or put this story on alert. I think I thanked everyone personally, if I didn't I'm sorry. I enjoyed chatting with a few of you. Some of you may be seeing some of your suggestions. It's nice to chat with you and hear what you are getting out of the story. **

**Sorry this one is short. I stopped it where I did, because I didn't want the next section to overshadow what happened in this one. This is a side of Beckett none of us has seen, because Castle and the viewers were never privy to most of it. I hope you enjoy it.**

Knees drawn tightly against her chest, her nails digging crescent shapes into her knees, she rocks back and forth in the dark corner of the room. Tears rolling endlessly down her face as heart wrenching sobs escape her. Frantically her mind tries to come to terms with the scene before her. The horror of her actions ripping through the thin fabric of her being. The shattered lamp laying on the floor, the upended coffee table with magazines strewn nearby, the sofa no longer in its original spot. Then there is Castle...

Castle sits only a few feet from her, cradling his injured face in his hands. His eyes speak volumes as he tries to reach for her.

Her eyes widen in horror as she gazes nervously across the floor at Castle. Dark angry bruises blossom colorfully beneath each eye, a small gash that follows the contour of his eyebrow is bleeding, and he's holding his side as he grimaces with pain.

Her thoughts scatter from one injury to the other in horror. She looks down at her trembling hands, the same hands that she had turned on him. She needs to get out of here, needs to clear her head. Castle needs to be looked at to make sure she's done no permanent damage.

Then her mind screeches to a halt. "No permanent damage" the phrase echoes through the recesses of her mind until the horror of it settles deep in her bones. That one cingular thought reverberates through her entire being with resonance. She's a danger to him and his family. She can't expose them to this, to her. What if that had been Martha or Alexis trying to wake her up. Would he even forgive her for that?

Castle reaches for her. His voice slowly penetrating the myriad of thoughts racing through her.

"Kate? Kate, are you all right? Please let me help you."

The kindness and concern is overwhelming. Her eyes plead with him to not come closer. She scurries further against the wall, like prey being cornered by its predator.

Castle rips his T-shirt off over his head and uses it to clean the blood now only tricking around his eye. He slowly approaches her.

"Kate, tell me what to do? What can I do?" His eyes are frantic. He's not afraid of her, he's afraid for her, afraid she's going to bolt, afraid he's going to lose her to this. Even after all this time, losing her is his one greatest fear. Just the thought, that she had gone through this alone, faced this head on once before breaks his heart.

Her hands reach up and touch the soft contours of his face, skimming the gruff five o'clock shadow that reminds her of his bad boy stage. Arriving at the gash over his right eye, and the bruises below, a lone tear rolls slowly down her cheek, as grief engulfs her. She withdraws her hand and settles her head on her knees.

Castle's arms reach around her and draw her gently to his chest. She goes readily, a sign that there is surely something very wrong. Standing, he proceeds to walk to his sofa. He knows it's bad when she hasn't pulled away or reprimanded him, but instead settles against him.

Sitting with her cradled in his arms, he softly whispers words of reassurance and love into her hair. The steady drumming of his heart calming the torrent beating of hers as she settles into his chest. He's seen so many parts of Kate, but this, this Kate is killing him. Not because if her actions towards him, but of the broken soul he has gotten a glimpse of for the first time ever. The part of her that has been buried for just over 19 years.

"Kate? Do you want me to call your Dad? Or maybe Dr. Burke?" He asks hoping not to anger or upset her. She holds onto him tighter as she shakes her head "no".

"Castle, maybe it's best if I go back to my place, until ..." She tries to explain, but Castle doesn't wants none of it.

"Castle you don't understand. You weren't there, you don't know what I'm capable of, and I can't stop myself. What about your fam.." He does't let her finish.

"I'll follow you, Kate. You can walk out that door and I will follow you, to the ends of this earth. I'm not going to let you do this alone, so don't you dare finish that sentence. None of us are going to let you go through this alone." There is no questioning the conviction in his tone, and she doesn't have the energy to fight him.

When her tears finally subside and her breath evens, he slips quietly from under her, grabs his phone and a clean t-shirt and makes a call to the only person he trusts to help them. The one person who understands from experience what she is going through. Walking into the kitchen, so he doesn't wake her, he makes the call.

"Hey, yeah sorry to bother you on your day off, but I need your help. I think Kate's having PTDS flashbacks. She trusts you. Can you come over, and can you please bring Lanie? Tell her to bring her medical kit."

"Castle, bro everything ok?" Espo asks.

"I'm pretty banged up, she was in the middle of a flashback. She didn't know what she was doing. Could you guys just get here? You got through to her before, Javi. She needs you."

"We'll be there as soon as we can." The phone clicks as it disconnects, and Castle places it quietly on the counter. Rummaging through the cabinets he gets himself some pain reliever and water, and waits. The pain in his head is killing him.

He watches her sleeping across the room. He can't fathom the horrors she must have gone through in the last thirty six hours. The anger bubbling deep within him scares him. Bracken and his pack of goons will pay for this.

**Hope you enjoyed this. I'm on twitter glo1196 and pintrist glo11962 both Castle related. Let me know what you guys think!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you to everyone reading, reviewing and putting this on alert or favorites. I have to mention a few people who have helped encouraged me during this story. To my bffl Judy1229 who always has a kind word and encourages me in everything I do. To Purplangel thank you for inspiring me, making me feel like a writer. To my beta who volunteered for this, and wants to remain anonymous, you're a Godsend! Finally to everyone who has reviewed, the reviews keep me going. I say it often, but it's great to know people are enjoying what I write!**

**Now on with the show!**

His phone vibrates noisily on the kitchen counter top. Like clockwork Eduardo has let him know that his "friends from the 12th" have arrived and are on their way up. Making sure Kate's still sleeping comfortably he slips quietly into the hall to wait, when the elevator doors slide open.

"What the hell, Castle!" Lanie exclaims quite loudly, before she catches herself. She reaches up to examine his face. "Javi, told me what happened. Everything's going to be alright."

"Damn bro, she really got the drop on you. How's she doin?" Espo nods towards the door as he speaks.

"Look guys, she's asleep on the couch. I don't want her any more upset than she already is about this."

Walking towards the loft door Castle stops but doesn't make any attempt to go in. He puts his hand on the doorknob as he speaks.

"Earlier she fell asleep with me on the couch and had a PTSD flashback. I couldn't get her to wake up. It was horrible, and I can't imagine the horror she went through. She hadn't wanted to talk about it last night, and was acting fine until this. It only lasted about 10 minutes from beginning to end, but when she finally came out of it, it was even worse. It crushed her, even more than the last time. She looked so broken so lost. I'm not sure how she's going to react to what happened when she wakes up."

"So, she did this to you when she was asleep?" Espo asks eyeing the damage she inflicted. "Did she say anything?"

"That's what's strange she made noises, gasped, but not a word. I could tell she was struggling to move."

Castle reaches down to open the door. "Lanie, thank you for bringing your bag. I need you to patch me up, so she doesn't see me like this again. She thinks she's a danger to us and wants to go back to her apartment."

Espo reaches out and puts his hand on Castle's shoulder to stop him from entering the loft. "You know, it might not be a bad idea, Castle. You have Martha and Alexis to worry about. You know she'd rather die than hurt them, but she can't control it once she's in that moment. If you're not here or they startle her by mistake the results could be bad for everyone."

"I'm not letting her go through this alone." Anger flashes in Castle's eyes. "She wanted her space last time, and I gave it to her, but things are different now, and she's not going back to her place. Do you remember the glass embedded in her arm from the last time? She didn't tell anyone, until she passed out because of the infection in her arm."

Castle turns towards the door and takes a deep breath. He knows their friend means well and is trying to make sure everyone's safe.

"I wasn't suggesting she be there alone, Castle. We could take turns being there for her. She wouldn't go through this alone, we should just keep all our options open."

Lanie had been quiet, she reached up and squeezes Castle's arm. "Javi, no one's going anywhere right now. Now come on, let's get you cleaned up. Where do you want me to set up?"

Castle quietly opens the door. Kate's asleep but she is mumbling something they can't quite understand. Espo gestures that he's going to stay near Kate, while Lanie does her thing. He sits down and watches, his partner, his friend sleep. he can't help but wonder exactly what happened to her. He can only guess, but later they would have a talk, and take steps in the right direction. Right now her body needs to rest and heal.

Castle leads Lanie through his office and bedroom to the master bath. She takes in the inner sanctum of the writer and his muse. The neat, manly, office is a stark contrast to the sexy chaos of their bedroom. Last nights clothes are strewn haphazardly across the room, obviously removed in the heat of passion. The large unmade bed and the sinfully satin sheets rumpled carelessly at the end of the bed, speaks volumes as to the late night activities that had taken place last night. Lanie wasn't prepared for the master bath. She stands gaping at the doorway.

"Shut the front door, Castle. What the..."

Castle smiles as he watches Lanie's speechless state. Her eyes skim over the two person shower with multiple shower heads, the sunken stone tub/jacuzzi, the beautiful vanity mirror over modern bowl sinks.

"I forgot you've never seen this part of the loft. Why don't you set up here on the counter, while I get some towels." Castle returns with towels as Lanie takes out the last of the supplies she'll need, and turns towards him.

"Kate Beckett's got a lot of spilling to do when she feels better, Writer-Man. I saw those silk scarves at the top of the bed. She's going to owe me a girls night out and some juicy gossip when she's better. You hear me?"

"Lanie, those aren't from last night. We didn't...After what she went through..." He trails off.

"Look here, Richard Castle. That woman out there doesn't do anything she doesn't want to do. I wasn't judging, just commenting that I'm glad you guys are happy. Truthfully in this situation, it wouldn't surprise me one bit if you'd been the one in those scarves." The look that flashes across his face says it all.

She guides him over to the toilet and pushes him to sit on the lid so she can take a good look at his face. He winces and reaches for his side again.

"Whats wrong with your side, Castle? Lift up your shirt and let me see." Lanie barely stifles the gasp. His side is covered in a huge angry purple bruise." Lanie changes topics as she pokes and prods.

"I've always known that girl had a wild streak a mile wide, from her younger days. I see she hasn't out grown it, by the look of that room and the smile on your face." She starts cleaning the gash over his eye, and he hisses in pain.

"We're going to haven keep an eye on that." Lanie points at his side. "Any pain or discomfort urinating, or sharp pain in the area, and you call me right away, ok?" Castle nods.

"Sorry, it's gonna hurt, honey." Lanie gives him a sympathetic smile when he winces as she disinfects the gash over his eyebrow.

"Your nose looks worse than it is. She got you good, but I don't think it's broken. I'm going to tape the gash, and for now just don't let anything near your nose. Including you not blowing it, ok? Take some Motrin for the swelling and take it easy."

"That's better said than done right now, Lanie."

Once cleaned up and bandaged, Castle and Lanie return to the living room. Where Espo and Kate are talking quietly on the sofa. Lanie quickly walks over and sits on the other side of her friend and smiles.

"Girl, when your feeling more like yourself, you and I are going to have one hell of a girls night, and your going to tell me all about the doings that happen in those two rooms back there. And don't you dare look at me all doe eyed like you don't know what I'm talking about." Lanie says as she cuts her off. "Writer Boy didn't have to say one word, I have eyes you know. Besides you don't want me blabbing about your kinky things in front of Espo here do you?"

The look of horror that passes over Espo face makes the girls giggle.

"I'll leave that job for you and your naughty hook up with him, Lanie" Kate says shyly.

"OMG, Lanie you told her?" The group had never seen Espo actually blush before.

"No, she didn't have to. It's common knowledge, you guys aren't that good at hiding it." Kate smiles at Espo. All the years they've been a team, and he's still surprised when she reads him so easily. She turns to Lanie, but doesn't meet her eyes.

"Thanks for taking care of him, Lanie." She looks at her hands, studies them as she fidgets. "Is he ok?" Lanie looks at her friend and nods.

Kate's voice cracks, as tears spill steadily down her cheek, she's drowning in a torrent of emotions she can barely contain. The ache and pain in her heart so much debilitating than anything her body experienced.

"I love you, Castle. I'm so sorry. How can you love me, trust me, after what I've done to you? I'm broken, Castle. You're all better of without me around. What if I hurt someone else?"

Castle sits on the couch facing her, and reaches for both of her hands. Lifting them to his lips, he kisses them gently, then pulls her forward and places kisses on her forehead, nose and lips, before speaking.

"Kate, none of this is your fault. I trust you with everything that I have. You're the only woman I've ever trusted with my family, the only one to see the real me. You're not broken! You need to heal. This isn't who you are, this doesn't define you. The people to blame here are the people who took you and tortured you. I love you, and this, this will just be another chapter in our lives. I don't expect it to be easy, but one that we'll get through together."

"And Beckett, we'll all be here to help. Ryan, Jenny and all of us. You're not in this alone." Espo sits on the coffee table facing her. "You have all of us fighting with you girl, you're not fighting it alone."

**Please contact me on Twitter glo1196**

**I have a Castle board on Pintrist glo11962**


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you to all who have reviewed and sent me privates messages about this story. I can't tell you how excited and happy they make me. This story started out as a one shot, and is now on chapter 7 with over 100 reviews. THANK YOU! I hope you enjoy this chapter, doing dialogue makes me nervous. I never know if it's enough or not. Please, let me know what you think. Castle Monday tomorrow!**

Castle walks Lanie to the loft front door, as the golden hues of the setting sun cast long shadows across the loft. It's been a long emotional day. Castle and Lanie argue over calling the car service to take her to work.

"You do know I can take care of myself, right Castle? There's no need to have called the service. I have two perfectly good legs and a Metro card." Lanie has one hand on her hip and the other clutching her large bag. "One wrong move and I can take out a bowling team with this bag!"

"After coming down here and patching up my ruggedly handsome mug, the least I can do is get you to work safely. Besides Kate will kick my ass if I don't do the gentlemanly thing."

"Well, that ruggedly handsome face of yours will live to adorn another dust jacket." She turns serious as she continues. "Keep an eye on her, Castle. She's stubborn and pigheaded, and downright scary when pushed, it's not going to be fun for either of you. She's used to battling her demons alone."

"Well, she's not alone anymore. She can have some space, but I'm not letting her fall back down that rabbit hole, Lanie." Lanie draws him into a brief hug. " I know, Castle, and you know we're all here for both of you. Thanks for the ride. I'll check in on her later."

Lanie slips out the door waving over her shoulder at Kate and Espo sitting on the couch. Castle closes the door behind her and walks towards the study.

"I've got some phone calls to make and writing to catch up on. I'll be in there if you need me." Kate and Espo acknowledge him with a nod and smile. They have been idlely chit chatting, trying to avoid the elephant in the room, while Lanie and Castle were nearby.

"Kate?" Espo said as soon as Castle steps into his office. He watches as she stiffens and closes her eyes, wishing away this conversation.

"I'm fine, Javi." She manages, though the look in her eyes, says otherwise. Tears swell in her bloodshot eyes, as she bites her bottom lip nervously.

"Kate, you know you're not. I know you're not. You're hurting and you need help." He inches closer, but doesn't touch her. He can see that she's skittish.

"You haven't said a word about what happened in that cellar since you wrote the report, and then you made damn well sure only Gates read it. We all care, Kate. Whatever happened to you down there, it affects all of us. You let this consume you, and it will destroy you and everything you've worked so hard for, including him."

"Javi, I can't." He's rarely heard her so broken, so lost, even when he had placed her sniper's long range rifle in her hands years ago. Tears streak down her cheeks, her eyes silently plead with him to stop.

"You can, Kate. You can and you will. That man in there needs you. He's a different, better person because of you. His family needs you, because you make him and them happy. Your father needs you, he can't lose another loved one, Kate. Lanie, Ryan and I need you, you're our friend, our sister. The endless stream of victims families, need you to bring justice and closure to the senseless deaths of their loved ones. You can't let what happened define you, because you are more than that."

"It's too much, Javi." She whispers hoarsely, absentmindedly rubbing the scar between her breasts. He slowly reaches for her hands. It's been a long time since he's held her hands like this.

"Kate do you remember the last time you and I did this?" He holds their hands up in front of her.

"Don't, Javi please?" She shakes her head and tries to pull her hands away, but he holds on to them firmly. He looks at her until their eyes meet.

"We almost died that day, Kate. I didn't think we were going to make it. If they hadn't found us when they did, you and I'd be dead. It's the only time besides being in the war, that I felt my time was up, but we both came out of that operation damaged."

"Javi, I thought we put all that behind us. It was a long time ago, we were just starting out. We're good now. I'm good."

"Are you, Kate? We self destructed back then. We were reckless, first Royce left, then we almost died, not to mention you were drowning in your mother's case. I was still suffering from the war, had a chip on my shoulder, and almost died. We were lost and alone, no Lanie, Castle, or Ryan to knock some sense into us." The memory of that time is almost too much for him to remember, as he squeezes his eyes shut.

"We drank ourselves to oblivion, the shit we did, there was no one there that cared enough to stop us. We put ourselves into some crazy dangerous situations purposely, and paid for it. We're lucky to be alive."

"Javi..." She's sobbing openly. This is a part of Kate Beckett she rarely lets anyone see. The lost grieving nineteen year old trapped inside her with no control over things around her.

"Do you remember waking up in my bed half naked, Kate? Both of us looking like we had fought off an army, covered in bruises and cuts and not having a clue what the hell had happened? We thought we had finally "fucked it out" and couldn't even look at each other. We knew that would've been the end of our friendship and partnership. Thankfully we heard about the crazy the disturbance at a local bike bar near my apartment. Speculation was that a gorgeous brunette had flirted with one too many men and had been almost sexually assaulted. Her and a Hispanic guy had rained hell on the place, and couple of thugs ended up in the hospital. We got help then, and swore never to let things get that bad again. I'm keeping my end of that bargain, Kate. You'll get through this, and we'll be there to help you."

"I'm scared, Javi. How many times before I don't come back from it, or worse?" Her gaze wonders towards the office. Her eyes soften as she spots him moving around the office through the books.

"He doesn't deserve this, Javi."

"Let me tell you about that man ,Kate. That man's no fool. He knows exactly what he's getting with you, and he has fought tooth and nail for every little bit. Castle loves you, and will stand by you."

"But for how long? How long before he gets tired? How long before he sees how damaged I really am?"

"Kate, he knows you, the good and the bad, and he's still here. Give him some credit. He waited for four years before you even acknowledged him. He watched you with different men, while he wore his heart on his sleeve. He loves you, Kate."

Her head drops forward, her hair hiding her face from him.

"I love him, Javi. More than I've ever loved anyone. When I knew I probably wasn't going to make it out alive, I wrote him the letter you guys dropped off here. I told him that he was amazing, and that our relationship and partnership meant everything to me. I was saying goodbye. I didn't want to die without him knowing how much I love him."

"Has he read it?"

"No, it's sitting on his nightstand. I told him to read it when he was ready. Through everything that happened, I kept thinking about him. I would have given up, if it wasn't for him."

"You should read that together. He will need you there." He looks at her, and she knows he's going to want her to tell him what happened.

"Kate, what happened after you got in the elevator?" Her eyes cloud over as she falls back into the horrifying memory. Her fingers anchor themselves to his.

"They threw me into the back of a truck and took me to the compound. They thought I was Elena and offered me $50k a week to be Lazarus' assassin. They wanted me to kill the corporate lawyer, to prove my allegiance. Harten was already suspicious of me. I was brought to the cellar to finally meet Lazarus, but not before being walked through their money counting operation. There were millions of dollars, Javi. I could hear tortured screaming from behind the closed door we were walking towards, then it suddenly stopped. A few seconds later the door opened and I was ushered in. The cement floor was covered in fresh blood, but there was no body. Lazarus was in the shadows cleaning his gun, but as soon as I heard him speak, I knew my cover was about to be blown. It was Vulcan Simmons."

Kate moves her hair out of her face. She reaches for a tissue off the coffee table and looks at her friend. Quickly wiping her face she reaches for his hands again.

"I knew I was going to die the minute I heard his voice. There was no escape , I was quickly disarmed. The three of them had guns, and there was only one exit. He made me the moment he saw me, even remembered our last meeting. They tied my hands behind my back, and my feet. At first they roughed me up. Vulcan grabbed me by the hair, punched me and kept asking how much we knew about this operation. Told me I was going to die just like my mother. Ripped my shirt open, poked my scar and told me he wouldn't be making that mistake."

Kate covers her face and tries to regain her composure. Her voice nothing more than a hoarse whisper as tears stream relentlessly down her face.

"I was afraid they'd rape me before killing me, but they brought out a wooden barrel and filled it with ice and water instead. They water-boarded me, Javi. At first I struggled, but that was just sapping away my strength. I concentrated on not breathing, and letting my breath out slowly. But they kept holding me in longer, they banged my head against the bottom a few times. I'd breath in the water, and it burned like hell. It felt like ice picks were being stabbed through my chest. I could feel myself losing consciousness, I was just hoping it would end quickly, and that Castle got my letter. Last thing I remember in the cellar was getting dunked and breathing in the water. Next thing I new I was coughing up water in the driveway, next to the car. Harten grabbed me by the hair told me I better not get his car dirty and kicked me in the side. He picked me up and threw me in the back seat. Told me putting a bullet in my brain was going to be satisfying."

Kate sat back against the sofa, drawing her knees to her chest. Esposito sits next to her and wraps his arm around her shoulder. It's rare that the two have this much contact since the early days. She curls into him.

"When the car stopped I could only think about Castle, our wedding, our children, old age, everything I was about to lose. Harten, told me how he loved these woods, and how he went there as a kid with his father. Told me there are a lot of dead people hidden there including cops. Suddenly, he stepped on the rope between my feet and I fell down the gully you found me in. He pulled out the gun to shoot me, when Elena slit his throat. She didn't kill me, but proceeds to tell me that "he" had told her he "owed me." Javi, Lazarus has got to be Bracken. I saved him last year, and now he has saved me, his debt is paid. He's the one amassing a giant campaign war-chest, he's the one behind all this."

Esposito looks up over her head to see Castle standing silently half way across the room.

"Hey, man how long have you been standing there?"

"Since she started talking about the water boarding. I was coming out and ask you guys if you wanted me to fix you something to eat. Then I heard her telling you what happened and I couldn't move, couldn't speak. I didn't mean to eavesdrop. I love you, Kate."

Castle walks to the sofa and sits down on the other side of her. She let's go of Espo and practically molds herself into his side, as the last of her defenses come crashing down around her and heart wrenching sobs escape her.

"I'm sorry, Castle. I'm so sorry."

**PTSD is real. many of our service men come back with this and so of them have PTSD, physical and emotional problems, that families don't have the information, resources or money to help. If you read and enjoyed please stop by - support DOT woundedwarriorproject DOT org just remove the word dot and add the right hand side. There is a link to one time donations. Even if everyone donated a dollar or two, together it would help. I made my donation!**

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	8. Chapter 8

**This is officially my second longest fanfic ever. I'm hoping you guys are enjoying it as much as I'm writing it! Thank you to all who have helped me with this from Beta to friend to someone who has dealt with PTSD! Thank you especially to all who have reviewed, favorited and put this on alert, because in doing so you inspires me to write more! Please read the note at the end.**

The three of them sit in comfortable silence as shadows stretched lazily across the loft and the last rays of the day welcome the darkness of the night. The street noises below are the only sound echoing through the room.

"Kate?" Espo reached over and puts his hand on her shoulder, gives it a reassuring squeeze."You're going to get through this. Call Dr. Burke and get in to talk to him. You know how to reach me, if you need me." He looks up at Castle letting him know that goes for him too. "We got your back."

He stands up. "I've got some errands to run, before I go home. Stop by the precinct."

"I'll show myself out. You two just stay where you are." He turns and walks towards the door. "Give Lanie a call and let her know how you're doing, otherwise she's going to hound me, ok?" He says over his shoulder as he reaches for the door. "And Castle, take care of our girl here, by now you know, this ones special." He closes the door behind him without waiting for an answer.

Once alone in the hallway he reaches in his pocket and pulls out his cell. "Hey, Ryan lets get everything we can on the guy we found when we found Beckett, scrounge up anything on that damn fund and who owns the complexes their operations were held at. I have a bad feeling about this, bro. I think all bets are off with Bracken, he's coming for her."

In the loft Castle can't get over the changes in his beautiful fiancé as they sit quietly on the sofa. A year ago she would never have shown this much emotion. She would have never taken any help, and would have done this painfully alone. He marvels at the strides she's made for them.

He runs his fingers through her hair gently coaxing her to talk. "I'm glad you have him to help you through this."

"But he's not you, Castle." She murmurs into his neck, his scent calming her and giving her a sense of security she craves. She marvels at how easily he has become her touchstone. "How much did you really hear, Castle?"

"Enough, to know he's seen you half naked on his bed." He chuckles but his voice holds no anger or jealousy. "Kate, that was a long time ago."

"No Castle, it's not what you think. Javi and I were young when we got thrown to work together. This was before Ryan transferred to the 12th. They used us for an undercover op. that went belly up, and they made quickly. We were green and so inexperienced. It took days for them to finally find us, and I'm still surprised they found us alive. Both of us spent time in the hospital when they rescued us, but we were screwed up. They threw us right back in to work, and we needed help. We were like reckless teenagers, drinking, partying, damn it we even raced my bike. I think we both had PTSD then, but there was no one to help either of us. My mom was dead, my dad still head first in the bottle, Javi was on his own. If anything we were bad influences on each other, neither of us cared much what happened."

Kate looks up at and runs her hand softly over his injured face. She gently kisses his cheek and settles back into his arms. "I didn't know back then what I was risking. One night we went to this biker bar not far from Javi's old place. We were both drunk before we got there. Some guys offered me some pot and the evening after that just spun out of control. They had a pool table and we joined in. Flirting made me feel strong, and one guy ripped my shirt open and tried to take me on the pool table. Javi cracked the pool cue over his head and all hell broke loose. I don't even remember how we got back to his place, just waking up in his bed topless, leather pants still on and Javi fully clothed with his arm around me. We looked like we had been in a dogfight. Both of us took some time off to heal and get our shit together."

"I didn't ask, you know." Kissing the crown of her head gently.

"I know, you weren't asking very loudly." She smiled as she burrowed into him. "We both got counseling and promised to never let each other get that bad again. Javi and I we've never..."

"I'm glad you have him, Kate. Everyone needs a Javi in their life."

"You know, you have him too. Since the day you came into the precinct he has been your strongest supporter. I remember him telling me that,"watching a control freak like me trying to control you, was better than Shark Week!"

"I broke up with Demming to go with you to the Hamptons, because of Javi." The words had escaped her before she had thought about it. She felt him immediately tense under her.

"Kate, you didn't go with me to the Hamptons, Gina.." He sees it clearly now. Her awkward speech and shy smile. The change in her demeanor as Gina joined them, the handshake.

"You were going to tell me you wanted to go to the Hampton's with me before she arrived, weren't you?"

She nods. "Javi had told me that he was pretty sure you weren't hanging around to see me date other men."

"He was right you know. I was leaving because I already had strong feelings for you, that you obviously didn't share with me. I wanted you to be happy, but didn't want to stand around and watch you with other men."

"Strong feeling, huh? Didn't know horniness was considered a strong emotional feeling." She giggles as memories of all his sexual innuendos flood her."You were so inappropriate back then."

"And you loved it!" He says with pride.

"No, I'll still stick with you being a total ass back then. You're just lucky you grew on me." Her arms wrap around him pulling him flush against her. The warmth and heat of his body making her feel secure and safe.

"Kate, I've been thinking about the letter in our bedroom. Do you think you can be with me while I read it? I don't want to upset you, but I don't want to read it alone. If you want we can wait."

"Let's go in there to read it, I'm exhausted." She wiggles out of the sofa and holds out her hand to him. He watches as their fingers intertwine and a smile lights up her face.

They settle down on the center of the bed, the letter lays folded neatly across her lap. He reaches over to take it from her lap, but she pulls it away.

"This is your letter Castle, I just want you to know that even though I wrote it thinking I was going to die and never see you again. Everything in it is no less true. Every word written, every feeling I hoped to convey is no less true now, than it was then. I love you." Her lips feather lightly over his, as her hand reaches up and cups his chin. "this thing between us, it's for eternity."

She places the letter in his hands carefully. He looks thoughtfully at it and then up into her glistening amber colored eyes. The thought that she had meant for him to read it because she was dead, takes his breath away and he pauses. He takes a deep breath and turns it over in his hands.

Unfolding it slowly, almost reverently, he recognizes her handwriting instantly. He holds the letter in his left hand, while his right sits on her thigh, making a physical connection with her.

He reads the letter aloud.

"Dear Rick,

I don't know how much time I have, even to write this letter. What I do know now is that I'm in this and the only way I'm going to make it out alive is to see this through. I'm sure everyone is looking for me and if they figure out I was here CSU is going to search this house. They're going to look for blood and they will find it, which will lead them to this letter."

He looks at her, his beautiful, loving fiancé. She could have been trying to find an escape, looking for things to protect herself, and her thoughts were only for him. He squeezes her thigh and returns to the letter, his heart beating loudly in his chest.

"Babe, it's your letter. And I hope you never have to read this, that I can tell you all of these things in person, but if something happens and I don't make it, I need you to know that our partnership, our relationship, is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. You're an amazing man and I love you with all of my heart.  
Always."

There are no words between them. Tears stain their cheeks, as their eyes meet and speak volumes. It's been a long journey, but every step, every battle and every tear shed has been worth it, because they're still here!

**PTSD is a real affliction that affects many of our soldiers. When they come home their families are ill equipped, ill informed, and have no support or money for what's needed. If you have enjoyed this fanfic I ask you to please donate anything you can afford, every little bit helps these soldiers who do so much for us and our freedoms. Please go to this website- support DOT woundedwarriorproject DOT org the link to pledge is on the right hand side.**

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	9. Chapter 9

**Thank you to everyone who, reviewed, favorited, and alerted! Without you guys I wouldn't be writing. I'm not happy with this chapter, but I've already re- written it four times. Hopefully it's still enjoyable. I know it's way shorter than I like, but I don't want to add words for no reason. It is not an M chapter, but it is a strong T.**

Castle pulls away, taking a cleansing breathe to stave off the nerves ratcheting through his body. The letter trembles in his hand as he struggles with thought of what reading the letter would have been like without her. His eyes fill with tears and he grasps her hand, needing to feel her with him.

"This letter means everything to me. To know that you were thinking of me...Kate, if you had not come back..."

"Castle, had I known the risk involved in this, I would never have taken The case. It was supposed to be an easy intel operation. I'm in this, baby. I'm not going anywhere."

Castle leans in and tenderly kisses his beautiful fiancé. His fingers rake through her hair, as she cants towards him, letting out a small moan. He needs to show her how grateful he is that she's fought to be here with him. He wants his actions to speak louder than words, as he makes passionate love to her.

Kate eyes drift closed as she breaths the scent of him in deeply. Her heart pounds erratically in her chest. Chills run down her arm as the back of his hand softly skims over her sensitive skin from her shoulder to her elbow. The rest of her body craves and shutters for the want of his hands, for the heaviness of his body, warm and hard against her. The ache for this man goes far beyond a mere sexual act. Her need for him so strong, so encompassing, and yet it doesn't make her feel weak. It makes her stronger and more determined to make this life with him.

Her hand glides gently across the length of his collarbone to the tense muscles at the back of his neck. Her finger possessively caress the soft tiny hairs at the back of his neck as she draws him slowly to her lips. Her breath flows gently over his lips before he feels her teeth nip gently at his lower lip. Her tongue skims sensually across his reddened lip. Castle parts his lips as her tongue hungrily caresses his. He could easily get lost in the feel of her lips.

"Thank you, for knowing me so well. You know what I need before I do, Rick. Thank you for never giving up." She's secretly always enjoyed the bad boy scruff as she kisses the length of his jaw, finally stopping to whisper dirty things into his ear.

"There's no one and no place I'd rather be, Kate." He smiles and her heart fills with such love for him. A love she never thought remotely possible after her mother's murder.

Castle's hand slides gently down her back tenderly tracing the vertebrae of her spine and pulling her flush against him. She arches into him, wanting the warmth and strength of his body firmly against her.

"Castle," she moans as he trails wet kisses down the slender column of her neck. He fingers the hem of the brushed cotton t-shirt she's wearing. His thumbs brush softly up the sides of her ribs as his fingers dance up her back, bringing the t-shirt with them. Her hair spills softly out of the shirt and onto her shoulders. The offending object flung carelessly to the far corner of the room, her bra is quick to follow. His eye darken as he takes her in.

She retaliates by playfully fidgeting with the buttons of his shirt before she starts it's torturously slow removal. The feel of him as each inch of his skin is gloriously disclosed to her lips is intoxicating. Never would she get used to him this way.

Kate's nails scrape across his shoulders, slipping his expensive blue dress shirt off his shoulders, and pooling onto the floor. She resumes her exploration down his chest to his lower abdomen, leaving faint pink trails on his skin. Her tongue languidly circles his nipple making it pebble before nipping at it with her teeth. His eyes close as he enjoys her sweet torturous exploration of his body. Impatient as always, he decides it's his turn to feast on her body.

He has her naked before she can blink. His lips latch hungrily onto her breast sucking hard, her back arches like a drawn bow to meet them. The splayed fingers of his other hand travel gradually down the flat plains of her muscular stomach. She squirms in anticipation, her hips rising towards his touch. His fingers dip into the wet warmth, between her legs, the hot musky scent of her arousal tease his senses.

He worships every inch of her delicious body. Every crevice, every valley, every erotically charged area, with his lips until he has her panting and begging.

"Castle, Please, I'm close…." She growls between clenched teeth. "God Castle."

Her hips grind uncontrollably into him and her breath comes fast and irregular. Without warning her lithe body spasms as her orgasm thunders through her. Her nails dig into the satin sheets around her, as his name escapes from her lips repeatedly.

Her body welcomes the feel of him deep within her, the completeness of joining with him overwhelms her. His sweat slick body towers over her, his breath warm against the crook of her neck, the deep thrusts as he pushes her hard against the mattress, has her desperately craving her release. Every thrust send coils of need raging through her veins. It builds within her until it's almost more than she can handle, then she's shattering hard around him. The intensity of her orgasm has Castle following quickly with her name blissfully on his lips.

His satiated body collapses heavily around her, and immediately she feels an all encompassing panic rises through her. Fear so fierce she can feel it coarse through her veins leaving her feeling trapped. Darkness slithers around the edges of her reality. She has to move, has to get away. Her body goes rigid below him and he watches as her eyes cloud over.

Working on instinct Castle rolls of off her body. In a soothing calm voice he quickly calls her name and uses gentle touches to draw her back to reality. He coaxes her, reminds her where she is, and that she safe. Using his words he tells her loves her repeatedly.

Unlike the previous episode, this time he feels the tension ebb slowly out of her body as she gets a grip on the reality around her. Emotions flood through her as she tries to reconcile herself with everything that has happened.

They exchange no words. He wraps her in his arms and holds her against him, his hands rubbing gentle circles on her back and letting her take from him what she needs.

In barely a whisper he tells her, "I love you, Kate. I love you and I'll be here with you, through this. Always."

**Please don't forget support dot woundedwarriorproject dot org. I know PTSD affects more than soldier, law enforcement, healthcare provider, firefighters, and plain people who have gone through extreme trauma can get it. I chose this charity because it is the best known for this work. Please if you can donate it would be appreciated.**

**If you like this story but in need of a little humor hop on over to my other story, "Aunt Teresa and the Canasta 12" s/10219763/1/Aunt-Teresa-and-the-Canasta-12**

**Follow me on Twitter glo1196 on Pintrist my Castle board glo11962**

**thank you!**


	10. Chapter 10

**There are three people I need to thank for all their heLP on this chapter! Larry for your help and guidance in PTSD. Judy for your encouragement, and Teresa for the help in everything else with all my chapters. Then there are all you wonderful readers who review, favorite and alert my stuff. Thank you! Please take the time to read the A/N at the end.**

When they wake up, it's nearly 8 in the evening, their stomachs grumble noisely and Castle suggests something light for dinner. She sits and watches him cook, marveling at the man before her. How wrong she had been at the beginning about him. It had all been an act, covering up his insecurities, while the real Castle lay hidden at home with his family.

They talk through dinner about the wedding, Alexis, school, and Martha's next play. Both relaying stories from recent Ryan and Espo escapades. After cleaning up, they watch mindless TV, before long they're both yawning and decide to head towards the bedroom. Kate decides she'd like to relax in a bath before bed.

She heads towards the bathroom, while Castle putters around in the bedroom, settling in to play his Monsters Inc Infinity game on Xbox while she bathes. "Think you may want to join me in a bath, Castle?" She asks as she bends to turn on the water in the incredibly large sunken bath tub he has.

Castle eagerly turns off the TV, puts away the game controller and sprints from the bed, and through the bathroom door. He nearly knocks her over as she stands transfixed watching the water pour from the fixture. The color has drained from her face.

"Kate?" Castle says quietly, not wanting to scare her.

The overwhelming fear is all encompassing, as she stands frozen in place. Kate wills herself to take a step toward the huge tub, but her feet don't respond, they don't move her any closer.

"Castle..." She whispers on a breath as she shakes uncontrollably.

Carefully stepping behind her his arms quickly engulf her. Her breathing is erratic and fast, he can feel the beating of her heart hammering in her chest against his back.

"Kate, focus on my voice. I'm here with you, and I'm not going to let anything happen to you. If you want we can take a shower." He shuts the water off on the almost filled tub.

He steps in front of her, keeping constant physical contact with her, as he tries to finish undressing her. She's just skimming the edges of a panic attack or worse. Her eyes wide as saucers, her skin pale and ashen, as she stares blankly at the filled tub. Slowly he removes her robe followed by her clothes.

She's fighting the darkness at the edges of her vision, a fiery anxiety that threatens to take over. Taking deep breaths she tries to calm herself.

Castle has stepped into the tub and is sitting at the edge with his feet hanging in. He extends a hand for her to join him on the side of the tub. She reaches down and sits legs extended forward not touching the water.

"Kate, you don't have to do this? You can shower, or take a sponge bath. Whatever it is you need." His voice washes over her, bringing her a small measure of calmness that she can grasp onto.

She dips her feet in the water. Images flash before her eyes of water surrounding her, burning as it's drawn involuntarily into her lungs. Large bulky hands holding her under as she tries to resists her body's natural instinct to breath. Panic rises like bitter bile throughout her body. She jumps back and back-crawls up against the cabinets on the opposite side of the room. Her mind no longer at the loft, but in the cold cellar fighting for her life against all that freezing water.

A heart wrenching sob escapes her as she draws her legs towards her chest, and begins to rock. He wraps her in a towel, to keep her warm. Encircling his arms around her he draws her against him. She doesn't resists or respond. Soothing words of love and encouragement spill from his lips, hoping to reach her. He's thankful she's not physically lashing out, but his heart breaks for her.

They sit like this until her breathing evens out and the exhaustion from the ordeal starts to overtake her. She doesn't even protest when he snakes his arms around her and carries her to their bed, half asleep.

"I'm so sorry, Castle." Her voice barely a whisper."This is why I fought you for so long. I'll always be broken, and you deserve so much more."

He sits at the edge of the bed, staring at the most beautiful, incredible, wonderful woman. His heart fills with her. In the middle of all this and she's thinking about him and what he deserves. He has exactly what he wants, what his heart has always yearned for, and didn't know it. And he's not letting go...

He spends the night with her back molded tightly against his body and his arms wrapping her in his warmth. Except for an occasional grumble she hardly moved. He had hardly closed his eyes as he laid waiting for her to need him. He didn't want her to have to do this alone, or feel guilty. So he watched silently over her, hoping that she'd be able to have a restful night.

He knows she will get through this. She's the strongest person he knows. She'll claw and scrape until she comes out a better stronger cop. His eyes slowly droop close and he manages a little sleep before she stirs, and he wakes up again.

When the warm rays of sunshine stretch past the curtains and brighten the room, she stirs awake. Her body's warm and nestled against his. His hands have found their way under her night shirt, and are splayed wide across her lean stomach. She's never felt more loved.

"Mmm Castle?" She says in a low sleep ladled voice. "I think it's probably time for us to get up." She turns in his arms to face him. She marvels at how youthful he looks when he's asleep and his hair is tossed and messy. She wipes the stray hairs off his forehead and traces the contours of his face. Her lips skim softly across his slightly parted lips, as his noses crunches up, desperately trying to cling to the last refuge of sleep.

"Kate, just a few more minutes," he mumbles as he tries to cuddle against her. That's when she notices the deep dark circles under his eyes. She wonders how much sleep he's gotten in the last week worrying about her.

She lets him settle back into the pillow and waits for his breath to even out, and his body relax. Once she's sure he's asleep, she slides out from his arms, slips on her robe and slippers and heads to his office.

It's 9:30 in the morning when she dials the number by heart.

"Hi, Cynthia. How are you? This is Kate Beckett. Yes, yes, I would. The sooner the better. Today at 3:15 should be fine. Just tell him it's flaring up again, and I can surely use his help. Thanks, same to you."

"Making an appointment with certain Klingon medical professional?" He says from the doorway. She gets up and wraps herself around him.

"You just like that he sounds like Michael Dorn you Trekkie geek!" She smiles into his neck, as she giggles and shakes her head.

"Castle, I can see what this is doing to you. You're not sleeping, you're anxious, you can't keep this up. I'm sorry about last night." She looks at him and sees how tired he is."Maybe after I talk to him, we can both go in together? Maybe he can help us through this." Her fingers find his hands and intertwine with his, as she walks him back to the bed. "I need to make a few phone calls. You rest and I'll come join you after I'm done." She kisses him lightly on the cheek, turns him and pats his bottom in the direction of the bed like a child."

She calls her father and catches up with him. He's excited that opening day for the Yankees is right around the corner. She tells him how she's doing, he's offers whatever she needs. Next call goes to Esposito. She has him gauge Gate's mood, because she needs to talk to her.

"It's all clear she's been in a great mood since your shadows been missing." He quips as they make small talk before they hang up.

She quickly makes a call to Captain Gates and makes an appointment around 4:45 to speak with her. She tells her that she's thinking of requesting some time off. Gates is accommodating and tells her they'll talk when she gets there.

Kate hangs up and returns to the bedroom. Castle's sprawled across the bed, snoring quietly and hugging her pillow against him. Sometimes that 9 year old on a sugar rush isn't a bad thing. She quietly rushes around getting ready for the on some comfortable but chic clothes, puts her hair up in a messy bun, and throws on some light makeup. Letting him get some more sleep, she strolls out to the kitchen to get something for her and Castle to eat.

Alexis is sitting at the table with juice and an bagel.

"Hey Alexis, what's up?"

"Nothing much, Dad still sleeping?" She asks as she nods in the direction of the room.

"Yeah, he hasn't been sleeping well. I know it's because of me, and I'm sorry, Alexis." She squeezes Alexis shoulder slightly as she goes to sit down. "I'm going to see Dr. Burke today, and I want your dad to come with me. Hopefully it will help both of us deal with this."

"He loves you Kate. My Dad will do anything for you. The only thing that would break him right now is if something happened to you, me or my grandmother, or you walked away. Please don't walk away, don't shut him out. I don't think any of us could do anything to help him if you did. Work it out, what you two have is worth it."

"Alexis, he's my one and done. I love him. I'm in this with both feet planted securely on the floor. He is everything I need and want. Until your Dad I wasn't living, I was a shell just getting through life. I'm not going to let anything happen to him.

Alexis finishes her breakfast and sets out to start her day. She hugs Kate goodbye before she slips out the door. Kate heads to the kitchen to grab fruit, bagel and coffee to take to Castle. she knows it's going to be a long day.

**Please don't forget support dot woundedwarriorproject dot org. I know PTSD affects more than soldier, law enforcement, healthcare provider, firefighters, and plain people who have gone through extreme trauma can get it. I chose this charity because it is the best known for this work. Please if you can donate it would be appreciated.**

**If you like this story but in need of a little humor hop on over to my other story, "Aunt Teresa and the Canasta 12" s/10219763/1/Aunt-Teresa-and-the-Canasta-12**

**Follow me on Twitter glo1196 and on Pintrist my Castle board glo11962**

**Thank you!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Thank you! The response to this story has been wonderful. I'm grateful that you guys are enjoying this tale. What was supposed to be a short story has indeed gotten out of hand and has developed a mind of its own. It has been an adventure writing it! In 24 more reviews it will be only the second fanfic I've written to hit over 200 reviews. I'm excited to see that milestone! Please feel free to stop in on any of my other stories.**

They decided to walk to the appointment after having a late lunch. The weather was finally breaking and winter was finally losing it's chilling grip on the city. Small signs of the upcoming Spring could be seen if you looked hard enough.

Castle seems so happy just to be walking with her, that it reminds her of the bunnies being twitter patted in Bambi. She smiles at the thought.

She catches him watching her. "After all these years, it's still creepy Castle." He bumps her shoulder as he intertwines their hands and walk to her appointment.

They enter the beautiful reception area and check in at the registration desk. Castle takes a seat in one of the dark love seats situated around the room facing coffee tables and windows. On the tables are a range of different magazines provided to entertain those waiting for their appointments.

Kate smiles as she watches Castle fiddle nervously with a of the few magazines. He can't seem to get comfortable, crossing and uncrossing his legs every few minutes. Touching everything around him nervously, like the 9 year old on a sugar rush he is. Neither of them notice Dr. Burke observing them. He clears his throat and walks towards them.

It's always a pleasure to see you, Kate," he says as he approaches. His voice as warm and welcoming as she remembers. It's just about the only thing that sets him apart from the Klingon she says he resembles.

She stands and extends a hand in greeting, which he holds between both of his. "Thanks for seeing us on such short notice," she says as Castle watches the familiarity of the interchange. It takes him seconds to see the amount of respect and admiration Kate has for her doctor.

"Dr. Burke this is my fiancé Richard Castle." She introduces Castle, and he watches her face lights up with the happiness that brings her.

"Congratulations, I've heard so very much about you, Mr. Castle. I feel like I know you." He smiles making Castle feel right at ease. "I actually blocked out some extra time so we can all talk, after Kate's session, if that's ok with both of you?" He turns towards the door. "Are you ready, Kate?"

Kate give Castle's hand a quick squeeze and smiles before she heads into the room. She shuts the door behind her and makes her way to the two large chairs in front of the windows she usually favors. This room is so beautiful with its dark wood bookcases and plush carpet, one can't help but feel comfortable.

"I see congratulations are in order. The two of you have come a long way. You should be proud of your progress, Kate." He says quietly as she actually blushes at the compliment.

"We were in a good place. We're getting married and I know it's the right thing. I hate to admit it but I've become "that" girl who can't seem to get enough of being with her man. I miss him when he's home writing for the day. I can't imagine my life without him anymore. I just wonder though if but I'm being selfish? What if I'm not what he needs and I'll only hurt or destroy him?" She looks down at her tangled fingers.

"Kate, I'm sure that Castle knows what he's getting into. He's seen you through many rough times and he's still here. I'm pretty sure he knows you well enough to know exactly who you are and loves you unconditionally."

"Look, I'm here because I had an undercover op go bad. They knew who I was and they tortured me. I was water-boarded, beaten and left for dead. It's a miracle I'm alive. The PTSD has returned. I'm having flashbacks associated with water, and when I'm asleep. I hurt Castle during one. The black eyes and swollen nose, that was me. I'm a danger to him and his family right now." She drops her head in her hands. "God help me, I love him. You of all people know how long I fought it. How long I have loved that man and kept us apart. If after everything, I hurt one of them..."

"Let me ask you? Will doing this alone help you get better faster?" Kate looks at him and nods. "Do you honestly think it will make him happy?"

"How do you think it would affect him if you walked away now?" Kate's eyes widened. "From everything you've ever told me, he has always chosen to be by your side."

"What's this really about Kate." He asks as he watches her carefully.

"I'm afraid that I might hurt him. That I'll put him in danger and in a position where I can't protect him. That he'll get hurt or die because of me. What if it's my fault and Alexis has to live without her father, and Martha without her son. I don't even want to come back from something like that." Tears stream down her cheeks. "What does it make me that I know, I know that being with me is dangerous and I don't want to be without him?"

"Kate it makes you human. You're in love. People in love do crazier things, than want to protect the person they give their heart to. I'll tell you this, pushing him away isn't the answer. He needs you just as much as you need him."

"Kate, Can you tell me what happened? When did you get captured?"

"I was rescued 3 days ago." She answers as she stares out the office window. The previous happiness gone from her face. This rooms holds so many of her memories, so many of her fears. She feels safe in here, like nothing can penetrate these walls. "I spent just under 24 hours on the case. I don't know how long I', she stammers. "I was in the basement. It felt like an eternity."

"Can you explain what you feel and see when you flashback? What you remember?" Dr. Burke leans forward towards her encouraging her to open up.

"Pain, that's what I feel. Blind, searing, white pain, I'll do anything to get away from. I feel water everywhere, even though only the upper half of my body was submerged. It's heavy and pulling me down. I'm angry, so angry that everything I want is within reach, but un-reachable. I can still feel hands on my neck and back forcing me, keeping me down in the iced water."

"I kept seeing, Castle. He was like a beacon of light I kept trying to reach. I just wanted him to know that I loved him. I wanted one more chance to tell him, to make sure he knew that I treasured everything he gave me. When i figured out that there was probably no way out, and they were about to figure out who I was, I wrote him a letter. In case I didn't make it, and hid it in the house. The boys brought it over and we read it together. He knows now, I made sure."

"All those are justifiable feelings, Kate. What you went through is traumatizing and it will take time for your body and mind to come to terms with it. Like before we can work on techniques to help you get through this. I've learned that when you, Kate Beckett, wants something, you'll stop at nothing to get it." He smiles at her and they both chuckle.

"Do you want to go get, Mr. Castle, so we can discuss some more options and techniques to help you both deal with your condition? We also need to discuss your terms to return to work." Dr. Burke is surprised when she responds to work.

"I've got a ton of time coming to me. I'd like to use some of it now. My job has been my life, and it is part of who I am, but it's time it doesn't define me. I need time to be Kate Beckett."

"Have you talked to Castle about this yet?" She shakes her head with a small smile. "Well, let's bring him in and give him the news."

About 45 minutes later the couple emerges from the old stone building hand in hand as they walk to the precinct. The streets are crowded with people heading home for the evening, and the air around them cools as evening sets in. Neither notices the silent figure watching them carefully from across the street.

**Please don't forget to visit /:support dot woundedwarriorproject dot org. I know PTSD affects more than soldier, law enforcement, healthcare provider, firefighters, and plain people who have gone through extreme trauma. I chose this charity because it is the best known for this work. Please if you can donate it would be appreciated.**

**If you like this story but in need of a little humor hop on over to my other story, "Aunt Teresa and the Canasta 12" s/10219763/1/Aunt-Teresa-and-the-Canasta-12**

**Follow me on Twitter glo1196 and on Pintrist my Castle board glo11962**

**Thank you!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Thank you to all who have read and reviewed I'm still in awe at the response. I've had some great conversations with some of you on pm. This chapter is out of my comfort zone, as I find it very difficult to write case oriented chapters, hence I try not to. With this story I had no choice. I hope it meets your expectations and you enjoy! A special hello and thank you to Jennkyle who signed up for the monthly donation at the Wounded Worrior Project! Have a great weekend everyone!**

Three figures sit around an old table in the darkened warehouse of office in Washington Heights. Through the soot stained windows the occasional headlights from passing cars streak by. Street noise filters in, disturbing the tense silence inside. A thick white envelope gets tossed across the table top landing noisily in front of one of the room occupants.

"She's been a thorn in my side for way too long. We have no way to know what she knows and who she's involved. I can't have her interfering with my run for the White House." He doesn't move into the light or speak loudly, but he's definitely an I imposing figure.

"We've evidence that Maddox disposed of the original file in Mr. Smiths apartment, there were burnt remnants in the fireplace. The other file may have blown up in the explosion that killed Maddox, but we haven't been able to prove it." The unique accent of Vulcan Simmons resounds throughout the room. His large hand reaches out and takes the bulging envelope, pulling it towards him. Opening it he flips through the large stack of new $100 bills.

"That investigation was controlled, the perimeter was sealed quickly. The scrawny Irish cop on her team Ryan, controlled the scene letting few of us in. I couldn't get near it. Nothing has been added to the investigation or the evidence box since it was closed." A long shadow falls across the third mans face hiding his identity. "I'll keep my eyes and ears open and report back. Meanwhile we've had eyes on the lady cop and her friend, and nothing is out of the ordinary."

"She has enough information to link me to that bank account. She made it quite clear when she recited the account numbers to me. So, she has something. We need to know what else she has. She has enough to sabotage my chances for the White House! Damn it it Vulcan I can't lose it now when I'm this close. If I go down I'll take all of you with me!" He pushes back in his chair and stands glaring down at the other men. Neither of them flinch.

"I got her assigned to this to this operation. Made sure she was the single officer on the NYPD force that could possibly be assigned to do it. Her personnel record was extremely helpful. I lived up to my end of the bargain, and I'm owed my due, gentlemen." The third man argued.

"You're the one who let her live. Elena could have finished her off, instead I lost one of my best men. She'd be dead now if you had let Harten deal with her. We dealt with her mother quickly and efficiently. Instead you honored a deal and now want me to fix it?" Simmons was not used to being treated like a bumbling idiot, who was talked down to.

"Fix it or you can both end up like Harden." Bracken growls as he slams his fist on the table. "I'm not letting Kate Beckett and her writer stand in my way any longer. Make sure any funds from Future Forward can't be traced back to me. Do I make myself perfectly clear?" The other men nod and sit silently as Bracken walks out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

Vulcan turns to the third person. "I want her and her shadow followed. Everything they do, who they talk to, anything! This has to be taken care of soon. Screw this up and you'll wish you were in one of your old Mexican jails."

Fowler gets up and exits out the back door into a dark alleyway, without another word. He never sees it coming, one shot in the chest the other execution style in the forehead. He drops where he stands, money in his pocket and Beckett's personnel file spilling around him, soaking up the growing pool of blood around him. The large figure flips the safety on his gun and slips it into the waist band of his pants, under his jacket. Steel blue eyes fade into the darkness of the alley.

Across town at the 12th, Ryan and Espo sit tensely at a conference table. They haven't gotten very far. They've check every alibi, even the smallest leads and have come up empty. The general consensus is that Gates is going to shut the investigation down. Its really a vice's case and nothing new has been uncovered.

She enters looking at the evidence spread across the table. "You two find anything?"

Ryan and Espo can't reveal their theories. How they know Vulcan Simmons is involved with Bracken. That they've figured out where the money for Bracken's campaign was coming from but have no way to prove it.

"What have you found? I want to hear the smallest detail." Gates pulls up a conference room chair and listens as the boys rattle off what they have.

"We've dug into Future Forward but there's no way to find where the money came from and where it ended up. It appears that the drug money was funneled into "Future Forwards" accounts, which explains Vulcan Simmons involvement. Our best estimates is nearly $160 million dollars in the last few months. The account was set up by Evan Potter, the man Beckett was sent to kill. The money has been "legally laundered" through two secret supers pacs and an anonymous Shell Corp. all managed by Jason Kochler who mysteriously died recently of a heart arrack." Ryan continues talking.

"Vulcan Simmons has multiple alibis placing him in Washington Heights during the time Beckett was being tortured. Making Beckett's testimony useless."

"Beckett identified Harden. We're waiting on the autopsy report, checking his financials and known associates to see if we can link him to Vulcan Simmons."

Esposito pulls out the report by CSU, pointing at the findings. "No, finger prints, fibers, or fluids were found at the complex it was wiped clean, other than Beckett's blood, which in itself is interesting. They wanted us to know she was there."

"We checked in with the hospital and according to them Jason Kochler died of a heart attack, though he was in great physical shape and had no prior heart history. We have Lanie looking into that." Ryan says as he closes the folder and looks at Esposito.

"Everywhere we turn is a dead end, Sir." Espo informs her.

"Look, I didn't like this undercover op from the beginning. I told Beckett she could back out, that I was willing to take the heat, but she wanted to help. I'm not sure that this entire operation wasn't anymore than a set up. It feels off to me. We need to get detective Fowler back in here. See what other info he can provide."

Ryan and Espo look at each other weighing their options on how much to let Gates in on without Beckett's approval.

She catches their interchange "What are you two not telling me, that I may not want to know?"

"Look Sir,..." Esposito starts.

Just then Beckett and Castle exit the elevator. They spot Gates and the boys in the conference room and head towards them.

Gates turns away from them and speaks quickly. "Everything you've told me is evidence. For now I want this to stay between us. Inform them that we've got nothing new, it's not a lie, we don't. When they've left I want you in my office with every file you have on this case. Is that understood?" The boys nod and proceed to clean up as Castle and Beckett enter the room.

**Please don't forget to visit /:support dot woundedwarriorproject dot org. I know PTSD affects soldier, law enforcement, healthcare provider, firefighters, and ordinary people who have gone through extreme trauma. I chose this charity because it is the best known for this work. Please if you can donate it would be appreciated.**

**Follow me on Twitter glo1196 and on Pintrist my Castle board glo11962**

**Thank you!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Thank you to everyone who has helped with some of the grittier details of this story. Since you all want to remain anonymous I want you all to know how much you are appreciated! Thanks to all who have reviewed, pm'ed, favorited and followed, you're what motivates me to work harder and keep writing. This fandom really is incredible. Can't wait for a new episode! Let me know what you think.**

Kate and Castle's meeting with Gates is short and uneventful. Gates quickly approves her leave of absence without so much as a raised eyebrow. Something that concerns Beckett, but doesn't currently question it. With an approved two and a half month leave of absence, and support from Dr. Burke and the Castle family she feels confidant in her ability to adapt and return to work.

As they leave Gates' office they stop by the boys desks. They ask them about the case, and the boys basically rehash what they had told Gates earlier. Careful not to raise any suspicions. Ryan shares pictures of Sarah Grace and Jenny. An open ended invitation to the loft for dinner, poker an maybe a game of Madden is extended, which the boys readily accept. Kate watches the three men boast about their skills and challenge each other for a bit before she tugs on Castle's arm.

"It's been a while since I whooped you two at Madden, so let's get make this happen, ok?" Castle turns and wraps his fingers around hers as they head towards the elevator.

The clear, cool, evening is perfect for a long, leisurely walk home. The couple emerges from the building and head towards the loft arm in arm. Across the street a lone figure continues to keep them within sight and follows them at a respectable distance until they reach their destination. He watches them strike up a conversation with the amicable doorman, then walk towards the elevator. It isn't until the look of terror strikes the detective that he knows something is wrong. Following her line if view he sees a group of people to his left. When a dark haired woman splits from the group and walk confidently across the street to the building he knows something is wrong.

It isn't until the doors start to slide close and her eyes meet Elena's across the street, that her eyes cloud over as the tendrils of fear spread through her.

Inside the 12th Karpowski's team catches a murder in Washington Heights, and heads out. Not long after their arrival at the scene, she places an urgent call to Gates regarding evidence found on the scene. Pulling Ryan and Espo from their paperwork the three head to the Heights, getting partially briefed on the way.

They meet Karpowski in front of the crime tape. "I've got people canvassing the area. The store across the street has cameras we're getting those. Traffic cam is getting pulled as we speak. Uniforms are in that building questioning tenants to see if they heard or saw anything. It was broad daylight someone had to see or hear something," she says.

Gates speaks up, "Make sure we leave nothing unturned. Whatever Fowler was into we need to make sure it stops with him." Gates hates the thought of yet another dirty cop. They turn and walk under the crime tape towards the murder scene.

Upon entering the alley they spot Lanie and Perlmutter hunched over the body by an exit door. The body has been covered but not moved. Papers are strewn wildly across the alley. CSU catalogs and photographs each one carefully along with any relevant evidence.

As the boys and Gates approach, Perlmutter reaches down and pulls the tarp away from the body. Detective Fowler lays face up in a large pool of his own blood. The sheets of paper scattered around him soak in the puddles of blood and fluids under him. An NYPD personnel file lies partially exposed under his body, but the name tab is clearly identifiable. Katherine Houghton Beckett is written in blue sharpie across the tab.

Lanie's professionalism is being taxed as her eyes meet Espositos. Unquestionably their friends life is once again in danger, and neither knows exactly what to do to keep her safe.

Gates quietly takes in the exchange between her detective and the ME. She listens carefully as she focuses on the body in front of her. Katherine Beckett's personnel doesn't go unnoticed but the information on the body takes precedent.

"Time of death is approximately 6 pm or only about an hour ago, according to the lack of rigor, and the small changes in lividity and body temp. Close range shots entering here and here." Lanie signals with a pointer, but the small tremors of her hand don't go unnoticed by Esposito.

Perlmutter continues, "The wounds are consistent with a large caliber handgun fired at close range although the stippling isn't as severe as I'd have thought. He was dead before he hit the ground. He probably came through that door and was ambushed."

"Because he's one of ours, we'll both be working on this one together." Perlmutter finishes, with his usual disclaimer. "We can give you more after we've gotten him to the morgue."

"Espo, Sir, over here I think I found the spent brass." Ryan yells out. When the CSU photographer, Gates and Espo to join him a few seconds later he continues. "One brass was here, the other way over here. The shooter had to change the angle of the pistol between shots so the brass aren't in the same place."

He deposits the two brass shell casings into an evidence bag and hands them to Espo, who studies them carefully in the transparent bag. "Forty five ACP. Our shooter likes big bore." After a moment of consideration he adds, "This cartridge choice is inherently subsonic. It would be consistent with using a suppressor which might explain why no one heard the shots. The suppressor would radically reduce the gas velocity on exit which would explain the less severe stippling. At that range there is a good chance there is blood spatter on the shooter's clothes." When he finishes he hands the evidence bag to the CSU, who walks away with Gates to catalog it.

We need to get back to the precinct and get a timeline going on this. I'm betting our Detective Fowler was no longer of any use to whoever he was working for." Ryan says to Espo as they reach the body again. "Beckett's personnel folder at the scene is going to cause some raised eyebrows, Javi. All this can't be coincidence."

"Lanie, as soon as you guys get anything. I don't care what time it is, you call or text me ok?" Espo says as he gives her a hand up. Lanie walks with him a few steps for some privacy.

"We have to tell her and Castle. You know what this means." She says to him. "He's coming after her, Javi. We can't let him..."

"Who's coming after her, Lanie? Detectives?" It's their Captains voice and they know that there is no way out of this. "I think all of us need to get back to the precinct. I expect you in my office as soon as you get in, and Beckett and Mr. Castle can join us, since as soon as you get in your cars, I presume you will call them. I want to know everything."

**Follow me on Twitter glo1196 and my Castle board at glo11962**

******Please don't forget to visit /:support dot woundedwarriorproject dot org. I know PTSD affects more than soldier, law enforcement, healthcare provider, firefighters, and plain people who have gone through extreme trauma. I chose this charity because it is the best known for this work. Please if you can donate it would be appreciated.**


	14. Chapter 14

**My sincere thank you to the faceless people who have offered their expertise in the writing of this story. This was definitely one of the more difficult chapters for me to write, so to celebrate it being done, I will make it a fundraiser of sorts. For every review I get, I will donate $1 to the Wounded Warrior Fund. Thank you to all of you for reading! I hope you enjoy this chapter and help me help others have a better life.**

Chapter 14

He senses the moment she stiffens beside him. The rushed intake of breath catches loudly in her throat. Even the air around her seems to still suddenly. Just seconds ago her laughter rang joyfully in his ears, her warm body leaned warmly against him, they were enjoying leisurely time together, and in an instant it vanished.

He moves to face her, trying to ward off the flashback with his words, but is instead stricken by the pale frightened look on her face. "Kate, what's wrong?"

She roughly shoves him to the opposite side of the elevator. Her eyes wildly search the elevator for an impossible escape. She shields him with her body instinctively, reaching back she clenches his hands fiercely.

"It's her Castle. I saw her. She looked right at me. We have to get out of here." Her voice is shrill and her fingers are digging painfully into his hand. "She's out there waiting for me!"

The elevator door slides open and she all but runs to the loft door, opening and slamming it shut as soon as they're through. She leans against the door as her legs give out and she slides to the floor.

She can't catch her breath, as she tries desperately to focus on one thought. Tears stream down her face, as she runs her fingers nervously through her hair. Everywhere she looks unsettles her, every dark corner screams danger, until her eyes fall on Castle. Breathe...she has to breathe.

"Kate, please, who did you see?" Castles voice is laced with panic.

"Castle! I saw her. Across the street from our building as the elevator doors closed. She made eye contact with me. It's not a face I could easily ever forget,"

"Who, Kate?" Castle's nerves are frayed.

"I saw Elena, Castle. There's only one reason for her to be here, and it's that she's coming for me. Castle, we have to get out of here. You, Martha and Alexis have to get somewhere safe." Her hands are shaking uncontrollably and she feels like her heart might just beat through her chest, but her thoughts suddenly clear and focus on getting the Castle's somewhere safe.

"Where are they? Where's Alexis and Martha, Castle? Call them. Tell them to not come home. To stay where ever they are. She's out there and may use them to get in here. Damn it, Castle call them!" She walks over to the window and stays against the wall so she can't be seen from the street below. "I don't see her, but it's dark and I can't make out faces well from here."

Downstairs a young woman knocks on the front door of the building.  
She shouts through the door as she holds up her phone as proof. "May I just use your phone to call my boyfriend? Mines dead." She asks the friendly doorman. "My car has a flat around the corner."

He lets her in the door and places the landline phone on the desk for her use. He knows he's in trouble the moment the door shuts behind her, she reaches into her blouse and pulls out a small black knife off the cord around her neck. He reaches down and presses the emergency signal device on his belt, just seconds before the small knife slices effortlessly across his throat. She watches as his heart pumps the final spurts of blood wildly from his gaping wound, the sounds, sickening copper smell of his blood and the purging of his body bring her immense pleasure. This is just the foreplay, the main event will soon follow.

Across the street a dark figure watches Elena drag her victim into the stairwell. He doesn't have much time once the door to the stairs close. Her destination and objective is unmistakable. He slips quickly across the street, punches his son's code on the keypad, and gives a quick involuntary sigh of relief that it hadn't been changed. He enters, and rides the elevator to the 4th floor. On the way up he pulls his small pistol. He wishes it was his bigger one but the small silenced .22 will keep him out of range of her knife if she's already there. Letting the elevator doors slide open, he dives out, rolls and rises effortlessly into a defensive stance, finding nothing, no target. He replaces the pistol in it's holster and moves quickly to the stairway door, listening. He hears her feet on the stairs. The steps are heavy, signs of fatigue after wrestling the doorman out of sight and getting to the fourth floor. The adrenaline rush receding. It's an advantage he'll gladly take. His eyes finds the perfect ambush location.

Flat against the wall in the nook by the elevator, he waits, motionless. Two large plants adorn either side of the elevator, they'll provide enough concealment. The door to the stairwell opens slowly. He holds his breath, knowing any noise would give him away. Stealthily she crosses towards the door to his son's home. Moving with total silence and frightening purpose he crosses the twelve feet in less than a second and stuns her with a punch to the base of the skull, her eyes widen as she suddenly collapses. Breaking her fall, he drags her into the stairwell where he quickly rips her head around. The sound of her neck breaking is a relief. He ignores the sickening smells that accompany the noises of her body dying, quickly picks her up and turns to descend the stairs.

It surprises him how little she weighs as he carries her body down two flights of stairs and then leaves her there. He makes his way to the lobby, and enters the closet to the right of the lobby doors. With determination he removes the disc from the video surveillance unit and exits out service exit, avoiding the video traffic cam on the corner.

In the loft, Castle has moved to the kitchen. He's on the phone with Alexis, who's at a friend's dorm. He tells her that she should stay there if possible until he calls her back. Trying to calm her fears he says it's just a precaution. After hanging up with Alexis he calls Martha, who calls him out on the white lie right away.

"Richard, that's a crock of bullocky and you know it. You could never lie to me. What's going on?" She reprimands him over the phone.

"Mother, don't scare Alexis. She's safe where she is and I don't want her coming here. Kate's sure she saw Elena the assassin, watching us from across the street. If it is her, then she's not safe."

"Richard, you can't do this alone with her. You both need protection, and I don't care how you get it. Call the precinct as soon as you hang up."

"I will mother, now stay safe and I'll call you when it's ok to come home." He answers and quickly hangs up on her. He doesn't have time to argue with her.

He turns and finds her silently scanning the faces of the people walking past their building.

"She's out there, Castle. It's only a matter of time before she finds me. She's a professional killer, I can only out maneuver her for so long, if at all."

Her cell phone rings. Ryan's picture pops up, and she swipes it quickly with her thumb.

"Beckett."she answers.

"Hey, Beckett. We have a problem. We just found Fowler in an alley in Washington Heights with two bullets in him, execution style. Your personnel folder soaking up his blood under him. Gates overheard Lanie tell Espo that they're coming for you. She wants us all in her office in 30 minutes with everything we have. This is it Kate, we need to tell her everything." Ryan's somber voice an indication that he clearly thinks this isn't going to end well.

"Ryan, I spotted Elena Markova outside of Castle's building as we were walking in. She made eye contact with me. They're coming for me, it's just a matter of time. If I step outside this building right now, I'm a dead woman." Her voice trembles with fear.

"Don't move. We'll come get you." Ryan swipes his phone and stuffs it in his pocket as he motions Espo to Gates office.

A couple of minutes later Ryan and Espo as well as backup are on their way to the loft. Gates sits quietly in her office trying to piece together the pieces of this puzzle. She knows there are too many pieces missing, but one thing is clear. Katherine Beckett is at the center of it. She's one of best cops to work under her, and she knows it will be a cold day in hell before she lets down one of her own.

**Please don't forget to visit /:support dot woundedwarriorproject dot org. I know PTSD affects soldier, law enforcement, healthcare provider, firefighters, and ordinary people who have gone through extreme trauma. I chose this charity because it is the best known for this work. Please, if you can donate it would be appreciated.**

**Follow me on Twitter glo1196 and on Pinterest my Castle board glo11962**

**Thank you!**


	15. Chapter 15

**I'm sorry that this is so short. There has been a death in my family. My husband's uncle passed away. One of the kindest, sweetest, quiet people you could ever meet. I'll be always from internet access for the next couple of days. I wanted to get something out to you guys! It moves us forward a little bit. I hope it's ok.**

Chapter 15

A 911 distress call comes into the switchboard. Numerous attempts to reach the apartment management contact go unanswered. Emergency vehicles are immediately dispatched to the scene at the corner of 425 Broome St. And Crosby St. in SoHo.

Hunt hears the approaching sirens as he slips out of the video surveillance closet and uses the service exit to escape into the alley. He makes it about half a block down Broome when the first cruiser careens to a stop at the entrance of the building. Taking a moment he studies the scene as the street floods with cruisers, ambulances and fire trucks. He recognizes the rest of Kate's team as the first to reach the building. Satisfied he turns away from the scene and walks away blending effortlessly into the throng of gathering spectators. His job for now is done, but not finished.

Upstairs in the loft, Kate is grasping at thin strands of sanity, she fights wave after wave of the anxiety that threatens to swallow her whole. The safety of her family is the rock that anchors her. She diligently watches the darkening street below, searching the crowd below for the woman threatening everything she holds dear. The sound of the distant sirens calm her rapid heartbeat, and soothe the rapidly building anxiety threatening to overtake her. It's been the Castle's safety that's kept her from falling into the darkness.

The pounding at the door followed by Espo and Ryan's booming voices ebb the tide of raw emotions that has been so close to engulfing her. A stuttering gasp escapes her as she collapses to the floor in relief.

Castle throws open the door and runs back to Kate, crashing down on his knees beside her.

"You, ok Kate? You're safe now." He wraps his arms around her and draws her to him tightly.

Espo reaches them first. "We need to get the two of you out of here. The buildings not secure and there's a lot of blood in the lobby. Your doorman seems to be missing. Who was on this evening? When we're all done getting everything you need Ryan and I, plus two uniforms will escort you down on the elevator out to our cruiser. Grab anything that you think maybe helpful."

"Eduardo was on duty when we came in. He wouldn't be off until 11pm. Someone has got to contact his family. I have to download and then delete Kate's files from my computer and put them on a drive for Gates. Kate should get her extra piece out of the safe, as well as the shredded file pieces, Kevin brought us." They stand and walk into his study, gathering all the necessary materials.

Kate removes her gun from the safe in the study and then disappears into their bedroom. On their dresser is her jewelry box she reaches inside gently removing her chain with mother's ring. She hasn't worn it since she had agreed to stop perusing her mothers case. Saying a silent prayer she slides it over her head and tucks it under her shirt. The weight of it pressing gently against her chest bringing her some level of strength.

She turns to see Castle watching her from the doorway. The look in his eyes breaks her heart.

"I need her with me, as much as I need you with me in this, Castle. This is it. I think there can only be one winner. I'm not letting him take this from me. He's taken my mother, but he can't have you, and the family we've made. I'm done running, this is where I'm making my stand!"

"Kate, I'm your plucky sidekick. I'll stand beside you." She walks right into him, her arms wrapping tightly around him. Her face cradled into his neck.

"You're what I want. You're all I've ever needed, and I refuse to give up without one hell of a fight. I love you." They share a moment longer in each others arms. Castle bends over and kisses her on the head before entering the study once again.

Gathering everything they need quickly they meet Espo and Ryan at the front door, just as Officer Velasquez comes through the service stairway. She walks over to the four partners.

"In the stairwell on the lobby floor we found your doorman. His throat has been cut. He didn't seem to put up any struggle so it must have been unexpected. On the stairs on the second floor we found a young woman, Caucasian, dark hair about 5"9'. We don't know what killed her, the ME should be here soon. Your doorman's suspected murder weapon a few feet from her. The blood on her shoes and clothes suggests she could be the suspect, but at least she was there when it happened. We're calling the management company for access to their security system now. Let's get you guys out of here, Gates is expecting you."

Velasquez and another officer enter the elevator, along with Beckett, Castle, Ryan and Espo. They group rides to the lobby in silence. When the doors open the lobby is full of officers, CSU and the personnel from the ME's office. Kate gets a small glimpse of the blood splatter on the far wall and the lobby rug, before she's whisked away. Another senseless death for the greater good.

**Please follow me on Twitter glo1196 or on Pinterest glo11962**

**Thank you for all your wonderful sweet reviews. Today I read most of them again and it filled my heart. I donated $30 to the Wounded Warrior Project. $1 for each review I got last chapter!**


	16. Chapter 16

**It's been a rough few days. Now tomorrow my youngest go to Spain for 9 days. I'm not ready for them to grow up. I want to take a moment to explain tolerance and acceptance. If someone writes something you don't like, stop reading. Don't berate or insult the writer for not Writing a story in your view. If that's what you want then write it yourself. Everyone is entitled to their opinions but do it in a nice way. Yesterday after attending a funeral of someone I cared for, I came home to angry reviews and pm's about a story I wrote about Beckett's bachelorette party. Honestly days like yesterday make me want to stop writing again.**

Before they make it to the door one of the uniforms calls out for Beckett. They momentarily stop as they watch Lanie slip out of the stairwell doors and walk towards them. The grim look on her face a warning that there is no good news.

"I had the uniforms looking out for you. I wanted to give you an update before you go. On the ground level is Eduardo your doorman. COD is the same as Elena's other victims, clean cut across the throat severing the anterior carotid arteries resulting in instant unconsciousness and death. TOD would be less than an hour ago. He has no defensive wounds so he had enough time to press the emergency call button, but nothing else. I'm sorry, I know he was a well loved employee." Lanie looks down at the floor and then at Beckett.

"There's more." Lanie continues.

Castle reaches down and takes hold of Kate's hand. "Was someone else hurt? Have they found Elena?" Kate asks.

"On the second floor we found woman about 5'9" thin, athletically built, brunette. Fits the description of our suspect Elena. There is blood splatter on her blouse, probably Eduardo's, and the suspected murder weapon with blood was found beside her. We'll run tests on everything. CSU is sweeping both scenes. TOD is basically within the last hour also. COD seems to be a broken neck. We'll know more when we get back to the lab."

"Lanie, I need to go make sure it's her?" Kate says as she tries to push through the crowd of people in the lobby.

"Kate the building is not secure. You and Castle aren't safe standing around here in the open. Gates wants you at the precinct 10 minutes ago. We can identify her from the pictures we have from the case. She's not going anywhere." Espo interjects and argues. "Let them do their jobs, now let's go do ours."

"I need to see if it's her. I'm the only person who can positively identify her. Espo, I'm going to go see her, so don't try and stop me!" Her nerves are frayed. She knows that even if it is her, Bracken will send someone else after her, but this buys them time. Reaching back she grabs Castle's hand and pulls him through the crowd after her, as she heads to the stairs.

She temporarily stops at Eduardo's body and says a silent prayer for him and his family. The man unknowingly sacrificed himself for her and the other residents of the building. She takes the steps two by two until she reaches the crowd on the second floor.

There a few feet from the door lays the body of Elena Markova. Her body crumpled unnaturally against the wall, her head hanging at an awkward angle.

"It's her," she says in whispered gasp. She turns around and walks into Castles arms. He holds her momentarily and then guides her towards the stairs. She needed the confirmation, and now has it.

"Let's go to the precinct, we are more help there than here." He says as she nods and follows him down the stairs to the cruiser. The drive to the precinct is quiet as everyone contemplates everything that has happened.

"Castle, if Elena killed Eduardo, then who killed Elena? There were no signs of any type of struggle. It makes no sense?" Kate's rubbing her temples as the stress slowly manifests itself into a headache. It's at that moment when she looks into Castle's eyes that a thought slowly takes shape.

"You don't think...?" She whispers loud enough for only Castle to hear, before their eyes meet and he squeezes her hand in acknowledgement.

Gates is waiting for them in the conference room when they arrive at the precinct. As soon as they are seated she begins to talk.

"Before we start I want to make one thing perfectly clear. This is not a witch hunt or an interrogation. What is said in this room today stays in this room. We are not recording this, but I expect total disclosure. I will start by saying I knew Roy Montgomery for 15 years before he died. My assignment here is not at all coincidental, it was a necessity. I have in my possession a file sent to me recently by a man named Smith. Roy instructed Smith before his death to send it to me upon certain criteria. The instruction attached were to open it if William Bracken ran for the Presidency and an attempt was again made on your life." Gates pushes the file to the center of the table. "I have read it multiple times, but I know there are gaps that I think you can provide information on?"

"Sir, Castle and I saw them taking Smith to the morgue. He had no vital signs, hospital personnel told us he'd had a heart attack." Beckett responded.

"And that's the beauty of witness protection, detective. When you can relocate a person without fear of being detected, because he's presumed dead." Gates informs them."Now I need to know everything all of you know."

Castle stands and removes the memory stick from his pocket. Carefully he hands it to Gates. "Captain, other than Kate's capture and the deaths of, Harden, Fowler, Elena and Eduardo everything we have is on this."

Gates inserts the memory stick into her USB drive and the whiteboard comes to life with Castle's murder board. Espo and Ryan have never seen it and and sit transfixed at the amount of information he has managed to gather. Gates stands and studies it before she turns and looks at Beckett.

"I'm sorry for all you've gone through, but we will get this bastard. Can you walk us through this? When we have finished with this we'll dig through the file sent to me and we will piece things together."

Kate stands and walks to the board. She stares at her mother's photo for a second before saying a silent prayer that this was finally the end.

"This is Johanna. Beckett, my mother she was killed January 9, 1999 in an alley in Washington Heights. The investigating officer John Raglan wrote the investigation off as "random gang violence." The story doesn't start here though. Seven years earlier in the same alley, a mobster named Pulgatti was framed for the murder of undercover F.B.I. Agent Bob Armen by three rogue cops. These cops were preying on mobsters..."

**Please don't forget to visit /:support dot woundedwarriorproject dot org. I know PTSD affects soldier, law enforcement, healthcare provider, firefighters, and ordinary people who have gone through extreme trauma. I chose this charity because it is the best known for this work. Please, if you can donate it would be appreciated.**

**Follow me on Twitter glo1196 and on Pinterest my Castle board glo11962**

**Life is to short to spend being angry and negative!**

**Thank you!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Happy ****Castle Monday! I'm so excited for this 70's episode. This chapter is case heavy, hope it doesn't bore you all to tears. This is officially now the longest fanfiction I've ever written. In five more reviews it will have the most reviews too. Thank you to all who have donated to the Wounded Warrior Fund, I appreciate it, and so do those who benefit from it. Those who have helped me in writing this, I thank you! Please let me know what you think!**

They have been in the conference room for over five hours. Every detail has been poured over in minute detail. Exhausted and needing a break the group breaks up to get drinks, food and a brief change of scenery. Gates is in her office making phone calls as she sips her coffee. Espo and Ryan are back at their desks pulling surveillance tapes and reading over new reports. Kate and Castle walk into the break room for coffee. The familiarity of the routine giving them a sense of normalcy, when that is the farthest thing from the truth.

Kate stands in front of the coffee machine and stares through the blinds towards the desks. She senses him before she feels the warmth of his body against her back. His arms wrap around her, drawing her to him. Turning into him she nestles herself into the crook of his neck. Precinct be damned she needs this right now.

"How are you holding up?" He asks as he nuzzles his nose into her hair, breathing in the cherry shampoo she uses. His hand softy caresses her cheek in an effort to soothe the rising and the anxiety he sees in swimming her eyes.

"Castle, there is a contract out for me. This is the fourth assassin contracted to kill me, that has failed. How many more before they succeed and kill me or someone I love?" He can hear her voice crack as she struggles to maintain her detective persona. She takes a step back so she can look at him. "I'm as good as dead if I step outside this building, and I'm not convinced that we aren't compromised here. What if Detective Fowler wasn't the only cop on his payroll?"

"You've known everyone in homicide for years. If he had someone this close, he wouldn't have needed Fowler. There isn't anyone here who wouldn't do everything in their power to protect you, Kate." He draws her to him, his arms protectively wrap around her, offering her his love and strength.

"Kate he's going to fall. He's been doing this for years and it's slowly unraveling on him just as he's finally getting what he wants. He can't keep this up, there are to many players, and he's making mistakes. We just need to hold on a little longer."

Ryan and Espo knock on the door and stick their head heads in. "We have some updates. Gates wants us in the conference room in 5." Ryan says as he motions towards the room.

"Kate your one of the best at what you do. This is where you make your stand, and I'll stand with you." He reminds her of the words she read at Montgomery's funeral. "We'll all stand with you."

Gates, Lanie and the boys are already in the room when they enter, and close the door behind them. They sit together facing the windows with Lanie, Espo and Ryan sitting across from them. Lanie is an unusual participant as the ME's usually send over their reports, but Gates has been insistent that Lanie be the ME of record and be present for these meetings.

Lanie stands and presents her findings. "Time of death for both victims were less than 30 minutes apart. Eduardo was killed by one clean cut across the throat severing the anterior carotid arteries, resulting in immediate loss of consciousness and death within a minute or so. His death is consistent with the six drug dealers and Harden all of which have been attributed to Elena. The blood splatter on her shirt and on the murder weapon are an exact match to Eduardo's blood type. The murder weapon is an Meyerco Besh Wedge Neck Knife. Can be bought cheaply online and available to anyone. The sheath was still hanging around her neck. Elena was found on the second floor, but that's not where we believe she was killed. Position of the body suggests she was dropped there after her neck was broken. CSU found fresh blood on the carpet outside your apartment it's a match to Eduardo's. We think Elena was killed on your floor. When her neck was snapped she must have dropped her knife leaving Eduardo's blood on the carpet. Whoever broke her neck picked her and the knife up, and deposited them both in stairwell on the second floor landing. She had no defensive wounds, so my guess is she was ambushed. It wasn't a pleasant way to die. She'd have been paralyzed immediately but may have been conscious for almost a minute longer."

"We were in the living room of the loft. Are you sure she was killed on our floor? We didn't hear anything." Castle asks as he nervously watches Kate.

Lanie puts three pictures up on the white board. One is a picture of the murder weapon, the other a picture of the small blood stain from the hall carpet, and a picture of Elena's body where it was discovered.

"See the bottom of the knife, and the same shape here on the rug. The blood was fresh, had not yet dried when she dropped it. If you look at the position of her legs in this picture they're not natural. This is more consistent with being dropped from being carried over the shoulder. That why her legs are like that. She wouldn't have fallen like that." Lanie finishes, before she sits back down she walk by Kate and gives her shoulder a squeeze.

"I'll go next." Ryan stands but doesn't move from his seat. "We got a search warrant for the surveillance video in your building, but came up empty. The disc has been removed and there were no prints on the equipment other than your tech guys. Whoever took it had gloves, which explains why there are no prints on Elena. Who ever it is, they are definitely a professional. The blood from the knife on your floor was by the elevators."

Espo stands and proceeds with his information. "Uniforms have been canvassing the building and so far no one has heard or seen anything. We have two traffic cams on that block, and we've asked for the videos. Who ever killed Elena is a ghost. We have nothing, no prints, no visuals, we don't even know who that person is working for."

Gates stands and opens the file she has. "In here we have bank receipts, money orders, and enough to take Bracken down right now, but it would be for extortion, racketeering, and drug trafficking, none of which puts him away for the murder of a long list of innocent people including Beckett's mother. We need more and we have limited resources available to use before we raise red flags that will alert him to our investigation. So, I've contacted some help that both you and Castle may be familiar with."

The door to the conference room opens and in walks Chief Villante, Federal Agent Rachael McCord and Federal Agent Smith from the AG's office in Washington D.C.

"Heard one of ours needed our help." Rachael says as she walks over to Beckett and extends her hand. Kate pulls her in for a quick hug.

"What are you doing here?" Castle pipes up as he shoots her a smile.

"You're Captain contacted me. It seems Beckett here talked a blue streak to her Captain about our team. She was impressed enough that she contacted us and asked for our assistance. Seems your Captain has quite a bit of pull, because next thing we know the Chief here gets a phone call and here we are with instructions to follow her orders and assist in anyway possible." McCord answers. "So get us up to speed."

They spend the rest of the day catching the agents up and trying to piece things together. By the end of the night everyone has a clear picture of the people behind the conspiracy. They just have to dig up enough evidence to put them away for a long time.

Just outside the city, a government issued sedan pulls into a diner. In the far corner sits a nervous Vulcan Simmons nursing a coffee. His guest slides into the booth opposite him.

"What the hell happened?" The tall white man hisses angrily. "It was supposed to be an easy kill. Now she'll have people watching her and protecting her."

"Look, Elena was your find. You brought her in and she was extremely effective. I can't get any information from the ME's office they are only letting one ME handle the bodies from this case. All information is hand delivered to Captain Victoria Gates at the 12th. Our eyes can't get in on it without raising flags. All I know is that Elena took out the doorman, and somewhere between the main floor and the fourth floor she was killed." Vulcan responds clearly unnerved by the situation.

"Do we have any information on who killed her?"

"Nothing. Intel suggests that even the team at the 12th has no clue who could have done this." Vulcan looks slowly around, nervous that they're being watched. "We need to lay low and let things settle down."

The other man bangs his fist loudly, startling some of the patrons around them. From the counter the waitresses carefully watch the two gentlemen, no one is getting a good feeling from the men at the table.

"I don't care what you do or how you do it, but Detective Beckett has been a thorn in my side long enough. Take care of it, and do it soon. I don't care what it takes. Because if you don't, you can easily be replaced." He hisses loud enough to be heard by a few around him. He stands up and storms out of the diner to the awaiting car.

Behind the counter the waitress has called 911. The bits of conversation she heard had un-nerved her. As the car drove away she pulled out her order pad and copied part of the license plate. The white man had looked familiar, but she couldn't place him.

Vulcan sits quietly and watches the eyes around him try to avoid looking at him. The situation is unraveling out of control, and Bracken is becoming impatient and desperate, a deadly combination. The unhealthy obsession with Beckett consuming his every thought. It's a matter of time before something goes horribly wrong and Bracken's house of cards starts toppling. He needs to get out before that happens. He surely doesn't want end up like Detective Fowler.

**Please don't forget to visit /:support dot woundedwarriorproject dot org. I know PTSD affects soldier, law enforcement, healthcare provider, firefighters, and ordinary people who have gone through extreme trauma. I chose this charity because it is the best known for this work. Please, if you can donate it would be appreciated.**

**Follow me on Twitter glo1196 and on Pinterest my Castle board glo11962**

**Thank you!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Thank you to everyone still reading and reviewing. I can't believe I'm still writing this story. My longest story prior to this was 16 chapters, and then the rest were no more than 8 or 10. It's your encouragement and reviews that have kept me going, and I appreciate it. I've also had a miserable cold for three days, and am hoping it breaks soon. Hope you enjoy and thank you for reading!**

McCord and the rest of her team had been able to access records, bank data and files without leaving a trail and causing suspicion. They had found multiple recent money transfers coming from offshore accounts that had bounced throughout the globe, but had been finally traced to Bracken. Future Forward and anyone associated with it was secretly under investigation, if they were alive. It seems people involved with this organization had many mishaps. The ME reports for Jason Kochler were being copied and sent to Lanie for further study.

Before lunch they gather to hear what Ryan and Esposito found in Smith's testimony tape.

Ryan stands and proceeds with their findings. "Smith had contact with Bracken. He guaranteed Bracken that the information in the file would not go public in return for Beckett and Montgomery's family's safety. Smith kept impeccable records of the dates and times these conversations took place. He has a recording of the first conversation, though it is pretty rough."

"He goes into detail about how your mother's murder is involved in the conspiracy. Johanna was murdered in the same alley as Bob Armen's murder 22 years ago. Armen was an undercover FBI agent who tried to stop the abduction of Pulgatti. Things went belly up and Armen was killed, his death pinned on Pulgatti. She was murdered because had she dug further into Pulgatti's case and the extortion set-up Bracken had with McCallister, Raglan and Montgomery, would have been exposed and would have put an end to all Brackens aspirations of greatness. Vulcan Simmons and your mother had run-ins with the "Take Back the Neighborhood" initiative in Washington Heights. Bracken and Simmons shared a growing distaste for your mother's need to search out the truth, and help others, and that's what brought them together."

Ryan sits down as Espo continues. "The bank account we found after Maddox was killed, that belonged to Bracken, was a Federal bank. All their transactions have been computerized. We can get all the data, we just have to do it without raising any flags. According to Smith, Coonan's payment came from that account as well as the funding for his first Congressional Campaign. If we can find the payment to Coonan we can tie Bracken to the deaths of Diane Cavanaugh, Scott Murray, Jennifer Stewart and your mother, Johanna Beckett. Smith said that we should look into Ron Halsteads financials for that time and see if a payment out of that account went to him."

Just around lunch an interesting call came in from the New Rochelle Police Dept. They had a call from a very nervous waitress at the local town diner, about a conversation between two men concerning an officer at the 12th precinct. What especially concerned them was that two other guests at the diner also gave similar depositions. Esposito and Ryan grabbed their jackets and headed out to check the possible lead.

Everyone works diligently through the afternoon. Espo and Ryan were heading home from the interviews and would meet everyone at 7 am at the precinct with new information.

Gates comes into the conference room and announces, "It's time to wrap up for the night. A safe house has been secured outside of Manhattan in Hartsdale. The Federal team, Beckett, Castle, as well, as LT and officer Hastings are assigned to the house. There are six vehicles downstairs waiting. All of you will split into just two of the cars, the other four are decoys. Each car will be driving in different directions, but only your two will arrive at the house. There are surveillance cameras inside and outside of the house. Beckett your father will be there, and Mr. Castle, your mother and daughter will be there too. We took the liberty of insuring their safety, you can tell them what you want them to know when you get there."

It takes them about 45 minutes to gather their things and arrive at the safe house. The first order of business being talking to their family members.

They had been in the house for an hour and a half, everyone was now settling in after being told what was happening. Castle was still with Martha and Alexis, but Jim had retired to his room.

McCord's making coffee when Kate walks into the kitchen.

"Hey," Kate says as she walks in. "Sorry you got dragged into this mess, but thank you for your help."

"Before we were briefed we were told this case involved you and Castle. We were given the option as a team to back out then. We made the choice to be here. Beckett, you are good at what you do. You made a kick ass agent, but it's not where you belonged." McCord finishes making her coffee and sits down at the table. Beckett smiles as she pours herself a cup. "I'm rather impressed with how much of this you were able to piece together without help."

"When it's your mother it becomes personal, but this case has almost killed me too may times. My father has been sober about 7 years now. For 15 years it has been my obsession; it has consumed me. Now I want it over so I can go forward with my life. The future I want is right there waiting for me, everything I thought I'd never have. Solving this case and putting Bracken in jail won't bring my mother back, but it will give my father and I closure, it will bring the people who did this to justice." Beckett stares into her coffee for a few seconds. "If it hadn't been for Castle none of this would be possible."

"You two make a great team, unorthodox as it is." McCord gets up and puts her mug in the sink. "I think we should irritate Castle and give him dish duty while we're here."

Kate laughs,"It's kind of pathetic but we both like doing dishes. Gives us time together, and when we're alone it gives us time to think."

McCord shakes her head and laughs as she leaves the room." You two are pathetically cute, but it works."

Kate turns off the lights and goes in search of Castle. She finds him in bed typing away on his laptop. So absorbed in his writing that he doesn't see her come in. She slides into bed next to him and places a kiss on his cheek.

"Inspiration, hit?" She asks as she gets comfortable.

He's silent for a few seconds as he finishes his thought. "Yes, but you have impeccable timing and I'm just finishing up." Castle turns and slides the laptop onto the nightstand, then sinks into the bed as he reaches for her.

"How are you holding up?" he asks she curls into his side, her head resting in his shoulder.

"I'm trying Castle, but I feel the target on my back. The anxiety is just under the surface ready to barrel through me at any time. I can feel it eating away at my resolve."

"I'm here Kate. Whatever it is you need, I'm here for you. We'll get through this together." He kisses the crown of her head and cards his fingers gently through her hair, trying to soothe her. She wraps an arm around his midsection and a leg over his thigh. Trying to get as close to him as possible. It's not long before they both fall into a restless sleep.

**Please don't forget to visit /:support dot woundedwarriorproject dot org. I know PTSD affects soldier, law enforcement, healthcare provider, firefighters, and ordinary people who have gone through extreme trauma. I chose this charity because it is the best known for this work. Please, if you can donate it would be appreciated.**

**Follow me on Twitter glo1196 and on Pinterest my Castle board glo11962**

**who thought last nights episode was hysterical!?**

**Thank you!**


	19. Chapter 19

**Thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed. I've been so sick, that I haven't answered last chapters reviews. I'm sorry. Still a few more chapters to go, and in true Castle fashion a few surprises yet. I'm not sure why this story has so many anonymous reviews. Please sign in so I can respond to your comments. I promise I don't bite! Hope you like this chapter, let me know.**

Somewhere in Castle's sleep idled state, he recognizes that something isn't right. He turns and reaches for her, his arm encountering a cold empty sheets. Slowly opening his eyes, adjusting to the darkness he searches the room for her. That's when he hears it. In the far corner of the room, the faint rustle of movement followed by muffled heart wrenching sob.

"Kate?" He slides out of bed towards the noise. "Kate, come back to bed." His word stutter in his chest when he finally sees her.

His heart breaks at the sight before him. Backed into the corner, legs to her chest, hair strewn across her face, her eyes wide and wild with fear, Kate Beckett sobs inconsolably into the space between her knees and chest.

"Stop, please stop. Don't touch him." She mumbles between sobs. "Leave him alone. Take me."

"Kate honey, I'm here. Everything's ok." He inches closer trying to get through to her without startling her.

"Don't hurt him. I'll do anything just stop." She pleads. Her voice gets louder and he fears she'll wake the others soon.

He reaches out and touches her shoulder, suddenly startling her back to reality. Her eyes focusTouching his face she reassures herself that he is real, the night terrors seem so real.

"They were hurting you to get to me, Castle. You were hardly alive. That can't happen." Her sobs quietly continue as Castle draws her into his arms. "I can't let that happen."

"We're safe here, Kate. The house is full of cops and agents. It's ok. We'll be ok." He repeats a few times as he holds her to him, and rubs circles down her back.

He stands and extends his hand, "Lets get you back into bed. There's still a few hour before we have to get up."

He walks her over to the bed and tucks her in, then walks to his side and slides in against her. Wrapping his arms around her he pulls her in against him, hoping that their closeness brings her comfort.

"I love you, you're the best thing that has ever happened to me." She says quietly as she starts to drift into sleep. He kisses the crown of her head and whispers back," And you're everything I've ever wanted, but thought was impossible." As sleep finally overcomes him.

The alarm wakes them at about 5:30 am and they stumble down to the kitchen for coffee. Smith and Villante are just finishing up breakfast, when Castle and a Beckett walk in.

"Can you guys be ready to leave in 30 minutes? We want to be back at the station between 7 and 7:30." Villante asks as he throws away his trash, and sticks his cup in the dishwasher.

"We'll be ready, Sir." Kate responds as she quickly makes coffee for herself and Castle. "What about our family members? What about their jobs, their school?"

"No one's going anywhere today until we can arrange adequate protection. As soon as we do, then they can go back to their daily life with a few exceptions. In spite of any protesting, all three will have an undercover with them at all times. Attending any large crowd gatherings are out of the question." Villante explains. "I know it's not the optimum situation, but in this instance it's a necessity."

"I don't envy whoever has to tell them. " Castle chuckles, "Just make sure the man who protects my mother, can keep up with her."

"Come on Castle let's get ready." Kate pulls him out of the kitchen towards the bedroom.

When they arrive at the precinct Ryan and Esposito are already there and working on a board in the conference room.

"We were in early today. Beckett, this is it. With the bank evidence, Smith and the diner statements I think they'll move on him."

Espo and Ryan get up and approach the white board. Ryan walks over and picks up a folder from the table. "We left for the New Rochelle Diner yesterday. When we got there the New Rochelle PD had been taking statement from patrons. Seems that two tall men, one white the other black had entered the diner. At one point the white man has an outburst where you were mentioned by name, Beckett. A patron actually heard him telling the black man to make sure you were taken care of. We had a sketch artist come in and got three different descriptions. These are the sketches of the black man."

They put the three sketches up on the board. Everyone in the room goes silent as they stare at Vulcan Simmons in all three. The white man is put up under Vulcan's picture. "The three sketches are slightly different, enough to cast doubt. The white man is wearing a cap, low over his face, and he kept his face turned away."

Espo picks up another folder. "We were very lucky the waitress that called it in, is a Law and Order and SVU fan. She left the table intact, didn't touch a thing so we could get prints. We got hits on both sets of prints, Vulcan Simmons and William Bracken. Bracken because he's a government employee and Vulcan from previous arrests. We have them both ordering a hit on you Beckett."

"Finally the camera outside the diner picked up the car that Bracken got into, it's from the Government motor pool, signed out by William Bracken yesterday morning."

Chief Villantes stands and picks up the last folder. "We got back information from the Treasury Department. Bracken's bank was a Federal Bank and they computerized their records before the the fire destroyed the files. His account was cross referenced with Cedric Marks and Dick Coonan and withdrawals from Bracken's account matched deposit from Marks and Coonan within days."

"With Pulgatti's, Smith's and your testimony Beckett, along with Smith's folder, bank information and the diner statements we have Bracken for conspiracy and the murders of Roy Montgomery, Johanna Beckett, Diane Cavanaugh, Jennifer Stewart, and Scott Murray, as well as conspiracy and attempted murder, for you. That doesn't include the lesser counts of black mail, drug trafficking, money laundering, and extortion."

Gates, Espo and Ryan watch Beckett as the realization that Bracken has no where to hide hits her. She closes her eyes and instinctively reaches for Castle's hand. Villantes continues talking.

"Federal and State warrants are currently being obtained for any and all places of residence belonging to William Bracken, including vacation homes and known apartments here and in D.C. Warrants for his offices and any storage facilities included. Both men will be brought in and held without bail."

Castle turns to her and wraps his arms around her. "It's over Kate. Bracken will pay for everything he's done. It's finally over."

She stands in his arms biting her lip and trying to stay in control. When they're finally together she can let go, but not now.

**Please don't forget to visit /:support dot woundedwarriorproject dot org. I know PTSD affects soldier, law enforcement, healthcare provider, firefighters, and ordinary people who have gone through extreme trauma. I chose this charity because it is the best known for this work. Please, if you can donate it would be appreciated.**

**Follow me on Twitter glo1196 and on Pinterest my Castle board glo11962**

**Life is to short to spend being angry and negative!**

**Thank you!**


	20. Chapter 20

**Wow! What can I say? Im still in awe of the reception this story has gotten. I'm only a few reviews from a huge milestone. I can't thank everyone enough for reading and reviewing. All the behind the scenes people who have all offered their help and expertise! Thank You! It really does help motivate me, knowing people are waiting and wanting to read more! So thank you! I hope you enjoy, and it look forward to your comments.**

They spend the rest of the day knee deep in paper work and phone calls. McCord, Villantes and Smith have teams tracking down Vulcan Simmons and Bracken's where abouts, so they are under surveillance and accessible when the time comes. Neither has been spotted. The blinds in the conference room have been lowered facing the precinct and towards the outside window. Earlier in the day Gates had the room swept for bugs. If information did leak now, it would be easy to find the culprit.

When everything they could do was done they head out for a good nights rest, hoping that tomorrow would be the end of this hellish I nightmare.

After spending time with what had become their little makeshift family, Martha and Alexis retreat to their room. Castle follows them up the stairs a few minutes later. Jim and Kate remain in the living room catching up on the days events.

"How are you doing Dad?"she asks quietly. She knows that he feels this as strongly as she loss of Johanna almost buried him and watching her almost lose her life over it had almost driven him back to the bottle.

"Katie, I just want this done. I've already lost your mother over this. I almost lost you two years ago. I want whoever is to blame to pay for everything they've done, but most of all I want you safe and happy. I can't lose you to him, to this. I won't survive it."

"Dad it's almost over. Bracken will pay for the multitude of lives he has taken. So many people will get closure besides us. I want him to pay for what he did to Mom. What he did to Captain Montgomery, and me, Dad. He sent an assassin to kill me. When this is over I can finally have the life I want! I can have a family and not fear for their safety."

"Just promise me you'll stay safe. Whatever happens remember you have people waiting for you who love you." He changes the subject knowing he can only push so far on this.

"They said I'll be able to return to work tomorrow with my shadow of course," he rolls his eyes and humphs.

"I'm glad, I know you must have been going stir crazy in here. It's going to be over soon and we can put it all behind us. We can go on and be a family."

Jim gets up and bends over to kiss the top of her head. "You know you're just like your mother. She would have loved Castle and his family. She'd have been happy for you, Katie-bug." He smile and turns towards the stairs.

"Good night, Kate." He call out as he walks up the stairs.

"Until tomorrow, Dad." She smiles as she remembers the memory those words bring up. She's feeling hopeful tonight for the first time in a long time, as she ascends the stairs and heads towards their room.

The next morning everyone tries returning to their daily routines with some alterations. McCord, Castle and Beckett were the only ones left in the house. They were leaving for the precinct in about 45 minutes.

Kate and Castle were still in their lounge clothes, while McCord had gone out to get something out of the car. They hear the front door open and close.

"Hey, we're in the kitchen want some coffee before we leave?" Kate yells out.

There's no answer.

"Hey Rachael, want.."

"Your little FBI agent, can't come to your rescue Detective." She hears and her heart stops as she watches Vulcan Simmons walk towards them.

"What are you doing here, Simmons?" She demands as Castle inches towards her.

"Doing what Elena should have done in the woods. I don't know why the Senator didn't make sure you were taken care of when he had the chance. Instead I lost a good man and we had to move our operation out of that house."

"You don't have a chance of getting out of here. There are patrols out there. Agents coming in and out, someone could be here any minute." She bluffs, if McCord is really out of the picture then it's just her and Castle.

"I've done my homework detective. There's no one left, and you have no place to hide a piece in those clothes. I want to know what the police know. Either way, I'm putting a bullet in both your heads."

"You're done Simmons, you're both washed up. Nothing can help you now. You'll just being adding murder one to your list."

Kate catches movement over Simmons shoulder, but can't make out who it is. She purposely looks directly at Simmons giving whoever it is a chance to get closer.

"I'll have the satisfaction of putting you in the ground, Detective. Of knowing I put the bullet in that pretty little head of yours. You've been nothing but trouble for us. Either way you'll be in the ground before I am."

Castle steps in front of her, and Simmons lets out a loud bellow of laughter.

"You're still sweet on her. Too bad." Simmons raises his gun and aims the gun at him. "You got first."

"No!" Escapes from Kate's lips as she moves to push Castle out of the way.

"Don't you touch them." A loud defiant voice startles Simmons. Before he can fully turn to see the culprit, two bullets pierce his side and he drops to the ground. His gun gets jarred out of his hand on impact and skids across the floor, where Beckeet secures it.

Castle runs to the shooter and pries the gun out of her badly shaking hands. "Mother, are you okay? My God, I thought we were surely dead."

"I heard him talking. He was going to kill you both. Richard, I couldn't let that happen."

Kate checked Simmons, he's alive but won't be going anyplace. She turns to Castle's mother, "Martha, thank you! That was a brave thing you did!" Castle carefully hands Kate back her gun.

"He was going to kill you two both. You could hear the determination in his voice. The information he wanted wasn't why he was here. His script was to kill you. Period! There was no time. I had to do something, he was threatening my family!" Her voice trembles as she takes in the body lying on the kitchen floor. Castle holds his mother as she begins to tremble, and show the effects of the adrenaline. He finally moves her to the sofa where he sits and tries to calm her.

"I've called it in, help is on the way." Kate nods towards Simmons. "He's not going anywhere but he's not dead either. I'm not taking any chances, I need to go put some pressure on his wounds, make sure his lungs don't collapse. I want him alive. I don't know where Rachael is, but no one is leaving the house until help arrives. We don't know what's out there." Kate grabs a clean kitchen towel and some wax paper to seal the sucking chest wounds before his lungs can deflate.

Within a couple of minutes the sounds of approaching sirens can be heard. The tension in the air gets a tiny bit lighter. Emergency personnel find McCord behind the house within minutes of arrival. She had been found shot in the left thigh, restrained with her own cuffs, and sputtering a multitude of unintelligible swear behind the tape over her mouth. There was no spurting blood or severed arteries and she was still conscious, but mad as hell at herself for being surprised. Vulcan Simmons was currently being whisked to the nearest trauma facility as paramedics kept him alive. Explicit orders given by Chief Villantes stated that Simmons could have absolutely no visitors, and only essential personnel screened by his office to be strictly enforced once out of the OR.

Kate walks over to where Rachael is being buckled in for transport, when she sees Kate.

"Damn, I hear I missed all the fun. You were rescued by a tactical thespian!" Rachael grunts in pain With the movements.

"Yeah, I learn something new about Martha everyday. Sometimes more than I want to know. I hear you were laying down on the job. Now really, how are you doing?" Kate asks genuinely.

"Lucky me the bullet didn't hit anything important. Will be out of work for a while. Maybe I'll take a nice vacation." Kate laughs, and Rachael regrets trying to laugh. "Stay close to that future mother-in-law of yours; she's a jewel but she'll need a lot of support for a while – not because she shot Simmons but because she almost lost you and her son. From what I heard she knows exactly how close it was. Tell her well done from me."

"I will. When this is over, I'll come see you." Kate grabs the other woman's hand and squeezes."Thank you for everything. I owe you." She watches them put Rachael in the ambulance when she hears, "That's what ex-partners are for!"

Gates and the boys arrive as the ambulances and some police cars depart. Gates spends quite a bit of time speaking with Martha over the incident. With the safe house compromised everyone was going to have to head back to the 12th precinct, where statements would be made and new arrangements discussed.

**My reminder to please visit /:support dot woundedwarriorproject dot org. I know PTSD affects soldier, law enforcement, healthcare provider, firefighters, and ordinary people who have gone through extreme trauma. I chose this charity because it is the best known for this work. Please, if you can donate it would be appreciated.**

**Follow me on Twitter glo1196 and on Pinterest my Castle board glo11962**

**Life is to short to spend being angry and negative!**

**Thank you!**


	21. Chapter 21

**This story is wrapping up. I'm aiming for it to end before Mondays episode for obvious reasons. Its been a blast and a learning experience writing this, and I have so many people to thank, who want to remain anonymous! I just hope they know how grateful I am for their help! To those of you who read, review, favorite and follow, I thank you for taking the time to do so! I'm excited and sad season six is coming to an end. Hoping for our season 7 announcement soon!**

Vulcan Simmons is rushed into emergency surgery upon arrival. The trauma staff works diligently on him and the damn bastard manages to pull through, to Castle's disappointment. There is a 24 hour police presence outside his room as well as an officer stationed by his bedside. The officers are ordered to change stations every half hour and keep a log of all visitors. Simmons is not to be left alone or only with medical personnel for any reason.

Senator William Bracken has not been seen since before it was reported that he was wanted for questioning in multiple homicide investigations. A BOLO has been sent to airports, train stations, bus terminals and the Mexican and Canadian borders. At this moment his home, vacation home, apartment, and office are being searched and put under police surveillance, in case Bracken tries to return to them.

The Senator has more to worry about than the NYPD, government agencies and news agencies, looking for him. He currently sits securely fastened to a heavy metal chair. His hands bound tightly behind his back, each leg tied at the ankle and then again just below the knee. His torso is tied tightly to the chair he's sitting on. A black blind fold covers his eyes and wide thick electrical tape covers his mouth. He has never felt this kind of fear in his life.

Four days ago he had left his home, and had driven to work. Stopping at his favorite coffee shop for his usual macchiato cappuccino and toasted whole wheat bagel with light cream cheese. Returning to his car he had felt a sharp sting at his neck, and heard an unfamiliar male voice telling him to keep walking. He's getting approaching his car when he was directed towards a gray van, and shoved into the passenger seat without much effort. It's the last thing he remembers before waking up, wherever he is now. He's had precious little to eat or drink, since being tied to this chair. He's lost all sense of time, his clothes are soiled in his excrements, and he knows he'll most likely die right here.

"Bracken!" The voice bellows at him, while his chair is kicked with force under him. His captor rips the tape painfully across his lips. Pinpricks of blood appear where skin has been ripped off.

"What do you want? I have money, I can give you anything you want." Bracken offers still a bit of arrogance in his voice. Like he thinks he can still talk himself out of this.

"I don't want your dirty drug money you, Bill." The voice answers and Bracken can feel the warm breath of his captor on his neck. Then a sharp prick stings his neck. Something sharp digs painfully into his skin and dragged to his collar bone. "If you survive, a nice plastic surgeon may be able to fix that."

"If it's not money you want what is it?" He growls impatiently.

"For someone sitting his own piss and shit, you still think you have any control over this? When I'm done with you, you'll be praying for death."

"People will be looking for me. You can't kidnap a Senator and get away with it.."

The booming laughter stop Bracken's rant instantly. "Oh Bill, every local and federal agency is combing the streets as we speak. Your picture's plastered on every newspaper and news outlet on Television and the internet, but not because they are worried for your safety, but because you're going down. Your little house of cards has collapsed, those who did your dirty work are singing like canaries. Files have surfaced, people you thought dead are coming forward. You're wanted for multiple counts of murder, assault, conspiracy, money laundering and many lesser infractions. For your sake you're lucky the State of New York repealed the death penalty."

"Then why am I here? Why have you got me tied to this fucking chair. There's obviously something you want from me." He struggles against the restraints.

"You toyed with the wrong people. You're a bottom feeder who's getting rich off the death and suffering of those he's upheld to protect and stand for. You don't deserve to be tried in court, but on the streets by the people you claim to help. Maybe because I figure my brand of punishment saves the State of New York, quite a bit of taxpayer money. But before I make you pay for everything you've done you're going to confess everyone one of your sins to the world."

Maybe he thinks he's going insane, but he actually laughs. His laugh is deep and long. "Why the fuck would I do that, if you're going to kill me anyway?"

"Because you can die quickly. I can put a bullet through your head, making it quick and relatively painless. Or I can keep you here for days and leave just enough of you intact that they'll be able to identify the body, but you'll have felt every painful painstaking moment in extreme pain until you die. Or I hear that water boarding is your torture of choice. Either way I'll get what I want." His ropes are tightened, and one is added across his chest, to keep him from leaning over. Suddenly he the blindfold is pulled away from his eyes.

A baby bottle is rigged about two inches from his face. It's filled with a clear liquid he's hoping is water. He's been given just the bare minimum since arriving, his mouth and throat are parched. Without hesitation he starts sucking it greedily, and behind him he hears, "How the mighty have fallen."

The television on the floor comes to life. The 24 hour FOX News channel has a picture of him plastered on the screen. Under his picture the slogan "A New Kind of Terrorist?" His eyes widen as the story continues. He's being portrayed as the big dog bully who wreaks havoc on the lives of innocent people to further his personal agenda which is, power and greed, not the welfare of the little guy. The story accuses him of using and killing the little guys he's so fond of claiming are his 'greater good'.

Then the footsteps start to retreat away from him. "I'll be back in a few minutes."

behind him a door opens and swiftly closes again, suddenly being alone is scarier than the man planning to kill him. He barely hears the scurrying feet of what could be mice or rats over the droning voices of the news reporters.

The manhunt for Bracken is extensive, but unknowingly to them he sits in the dark pantry of an abandoned Diner on 357 West St.

Beckett and Castle wait patiently at the 12th for the phone call that informs them that Simmons has regained consciousness. Esposito and Ryan along with the AG Agents are assisting with the search of the Senator's home. Keys for a what seems like a safe deposit box and bills for a storage unit have been found, warrants have been requested and they are awaiting approval, for them to move on them.

It seems that times stops as they wait. Everything that's important in her life hangs in limbo, in a suspension of time that just doesn't seem to be moving fast enough.

The phone rings, it shows the name of the hospital on the caller ID display; their eyes meet. She answers.

**My reminder to please visit /:support dot woundedwarriorproject dot org. I know PTSD affects soldier, law enforcement, healthcare provider, firefighters, and ordinary people who have gone through extreme trauma. I chose this charity because it is the best known for this work. Please, if you can donate it would be appreciated. Thank you to all of have donated!**

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	22. Chapter 22

**I need your help! I'm a little unsure of what to do With this story. On Monday there's a chance the Bracken story line will resurface, and who knows what will happen. Do I continue this for as long as it goes? Or should I wrap it up before Monday? Please let me know what you think, and let me know what you think of the chapter. Again thank you so much for reading and reviewing, you guys have been an enormous encouragement! Thank you!**

The ride to the hospital is eerily quiet and wrought with tension. Castle steals occasional glances at her as she drives. He knows she is processing. She needs this time, to gather herself, but the look on her face pains him. The vacant look in her eyes, the tight line of her lips and rigid posture are just some of the indications of the turmoil boiling inside her.

He reaches over and gives her knee a gentle squeeze. The only indication she noticed is the tiny up turn of the corners of her lips.

The floor Vulcan Simmons is on is littered with officers. As they approach the room they are asked for identification, and matched to a list on a clipboard.

Simmons is partially reclined on the bed. His eyes are closed, but he's not sleeping as they open when they approach the bed. His left wrist is cuffed to the bed. A police officer sits silently in the corner if the room.

"So nice of you to visit, Detective." He grumbles sarcastically.

"I'm not here to play games Simmons. We know Senator Bracken is behind all this. We know how it started, we have evidence, bank transactions, audio recordings and witnesses. His home and office are currently being searched. You're both going to pay for what you've done." Her voice is cold and lacking emotion.

"If you have everything you need, then why are you here? Are you here to tease the animals? Because we all know how that turned out for your mother." He chuckles trying to instigate her.

She approaches the side of his bed. The anger coursing through her is evident as she bends closer to him. Castle reaches out to her and she shrugs him away. "Have your fun, because this time Simmons you have no one to bail you out. Bracken's missing, and you're second in command. He's left you holding the bag." Her voice stays low but is filled with quiet certainty, she continues, "Remember what I said when I almost put you through the window in the interrogation room? I said to 'savor your life because I was going to take it away from you.' That was a promise. I don't expect you to talk, I just wanted to see your face when you found out that you're going away for a long time. I always keep my promises."

There is a flash of fear in Simmons' eyes. It doesn't last long, but Kate can see it's there. Simmons is silent as he watches them for a minute.

Then he continues, but it's more bluster than before, "It's a shame Harden didn't get the job done in the woods, Detective. You've been more trouble than you're worth. If he's missing, then he's still out there. I'd say you better find him before he finds you, or maybe those you care about." He watches Castle tense. "You're still sweet on her. You better get some while you can."

Castle stiffens and moves towards the bed. "You want a piece of me don't you?" Simmons laughs a loud fake bellow meant to get a reaction. The officer rises and stands between Castle and Simmons.

"It's not worth it, man." The officer warns. Beckett turns and nudges Castle as she heads for the door.

Once outside both of them take a deep breath.

"He doesn't know anything about Bracken's disappearance. For an instant he dropped his persona when we said he was missing. He's wondering if Bracken has set him up. We'll let him stew a while, let the lawyers and the DA handle him."

The ride back to the precinct is less stressful. They talk about when this is finally over, and their next steps In their relationship.

Ryan and Esposito, with warrants in hand, have gone to the bank where they've found and opened the safe deposit box. Inside are fake ID's and credit cards for Andrew Edda, a matching fake passport, Swiss bank account and finally $50k in cash. This was obviously his fail safe escape route. With this he could escape without a trace at a moments notice. The good thing is it was still intact. If he had left the country they would have found the box empty.

They were now standing in front of a storage unit at Manhattan Mini Storage. Inside were dozens of white cardboard file boxes, ledgers and plastic bins.

Ryan walks over to a ledger and opens it up. His eyes skim over the entries until one catches his eye.

"Hey Espo, look at this." He points to the book. "This look familiar?"

Espo reads the entry. "May 7, 2012 Orlando Costas, R. Montgomery files $25K"

"That's the kid we found in the alley, the one that broke into Montgomery's place and took his files and laptop. We found him dead in the alley, remember?" Ryan looks at Espo as he talks. "If this is.."

"We got the son of a bitch." Espo mumbles as he continues to scan the ledger. "Get CSU down here, then call Gates and Beckett."

Back in his dark cell at the back of the Diner, Bracken watches Fox News' continuing coverage of the manhunt for him. They are labeling him a homegrown terrorist. Arrests are being made, his home and offices searched, all of it out there for people to see. His colleagues are distancing themselves from him. Senior senator Chuck Schumer calls him a disgrace to our country's government.

"You mother fucking rich bastard, you don't know jack shit about the little people!" He yells at the TV. "Fuck you!" Frustrated and royally pissed off he shakes and rattles the chair, almost knocks the contraption that holds the baby bottle full of water over. He's finally resorted to drinking from the bottle.

No one answers, the only sound is that of the TV. "What the hell do you want with me. Let me loose. I can pay you anything you want. Just get me the fuck out of here." His screams become hysterical. "I'm a New York Senator, you can't do this to me! You'll pay for this! I'll make sure of it!"

There's a short clip of a reporter trying to question Detective Beckett, his eyes narrow as he watches her. "Detective Beckett, is it true that Senator Bracken is involved with Vulcan Simmons, the notorious drug lord of Washington Heights? Is it true he's being linked to unsolved homicides?"

She keeps walking, trying desperately to avoid the microphones and cameras. "No comment," she says as she pushes a microphone away from her face and continues walking away from them. Anger boils deep in Bracken's gut at the sight of her. He should have let Harden kill her. She should be dead!

Again the television catches his eyes with a "Breaking News" banner. He watches as the news shows the police entering his home, then the storage unit.

"NYPD have searched the private residence of New York Senator William Bracken. They have found evidence linking the Senator to a drug ring, extortion, assault and unsolved homicides. Police are looking for anyone who knows any information that will lead to his arrest. Arrests have been made through all branches of the NYC government, as well as in the NYPD, and Police Headquarters in the largest corrupt government conspiracy and murder case in the nations history. Congressional leaders are calling for his resignation."

It's then he snaps. He doesn't even hear the high pitched screams that escape him.

**Please visit /:support dot woundedwarriorproject dot org. I know PTSD affects so many people who have gone through extreme trauma. Please, if you can donate it would be appreciated. Thank you to all of have donated!**

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	23. Chapter 23

**I'm making no promises, but I'm going to try and finish it before Monday. Only because I want my story to be original, and as someone said I don't want what happens Monday to influence me. Of course, that doesn't mean that the story has it's own idea. Heck this was supposed to be a one shot. So here is a rare treat, 2 chapters in one day. Thank you to everyone who faithfully reviews, you guys are wonderful. Thank you to all who read, favorite and follow, I'm shocked this story has done so well!**

The drive back from the hospital is quiet, both of them lost in their thoughts, when her cell phone rings startles them. Reaching for it she notices it's Ryan.

"Hopefully they have some news." She says as she answers it."Beckett."

"Beckett, it's over." Kate instantly pulls of the road as Ryan continues. "We searched his home and offices and found keys to a storage facility and safe deposit box. In the box we found fake ID's, passports, off shore bank accounts and $50k in cash. It was Bracken's go bag. In the storage unit we found all his files and ledgers, with transactions and payoffs. Everything is right there!" Ryan pauses and the line is silent. "Beckett, are you there?"

She can't talk. Tears are streaming down her face as she tries to wrap her mind around what Ryan has just told her. She looks over at Castle who is trying to read her.

"It's over, Castle." She says forgetting Ryan on the phone. "It's finally over."

"Beckett?" Ryan still trying to get her attention. "Beckett, Are you there?"

"Yes, sorry Ryan. I'm just speechless. What else do you have?"

"We have more than enough to put Bracken and Simmons away for a very long time. We have the names of plants all over the government including here at the 12th. It's all going to the 12th for processing after it's cleared here. We still haven't found Bracken, no hits on the BOLO's so he's probably in hiding here in the city. We'll get him Beckett."

"Thanks Ryan, we're heading back to the precinct now. We'll be there in about 25 minutes," she answers and then ends the call. She turns towards Castle, tears are still streaming down her face.

"It's over Castle. It's really over, he's going to pay for everything he's done. No more target, Castle. No more fear they'll hurt you, Alexis, Martha, or my father to get to me. I don't know how to feel right now."

"Kate, you can now have the kind of life you've always wanted. He has no control anymore."

He reaches over and pulls her gently towards him. She comes willingly and settles on his shoulder. "I can't believe it's over, Castle."

"Kate, why don't you let me drive the rest of the way. It'll give you some time to work this out before we get to the precinct," he offers. She nods her approval.

He kisses the top of her head and gives her a gentle squeeze. Then opens the door. She slides over as he settles back into the drivers seat. She reaches out and takes hold of his hand And doesn't release it until they get to the station.

Arriving at the station they immediately head to Homicide. The elevator doors slide open to what could only be described as controlled chaos. McCord and Ryan are going through boxes with files. Espo is going through ledgers with LT and Karpowski. Tory Ellis and Officer Harrison were going through video footage. Gates sits in her office speaking to someone who has her totally riled up by the look of it. Lanie's in the conference room with all the autopsy reports spread out on the table.

Gates comes out of her office and walks to them. "Kate, Castle come into my office."

"Sir, it's true? I've always imagined what this moment would be like, I had always thought it would end with my..."

"Detective Beckett, Mr. Castle, we have been in contact with Mr. Smith and have the recording In our possession. Several copies have been made and distributed to people we can trust. In places it is inaudible, but the part where Bracken clearly states that he ordered your elimination and would back off in exchange for the file not being exposed is quite clear. Smith details information in the recording that Bracken doesn't deny. We also have most of the file in our possession. We have a ledger with payments to Orlando Costas, Cedric Marks, Vulcan Simmons, Dick Coonan and Hal Lockwood as well as many others. We have two from our own precinct in custody as we speak."

"Now I'm going to ask you to hand me your badge and your gun. You are officially on a leave of absence. I don't want to hear it detective. You can't be involved in this it is a conflict of interest. We want everything on the up and up. Bracken and his crew are not going to get off on a technicality." She leans over her desk, and waits for Beckett to surrender her gun and badge. Kate looks at her badge remembering the last time this happened.

"Feels familiar, doesn't it?" She says as she puts her badge down.

"You're not resigning, and this is only temporary leave of absence. Unofficially, I'm asking do you have your back up piece, Detective?" Gates hold her hand up to stop Kate from talking. "I'm not sending you out there without it."

Kate nods. "Thank you, Sir. Will you keep us updated?" She asks hoping she doesn't shut them out.

"If I say no, those two clowns out there wouldn't follow the orders anyway. It says a lot about your team when you see what they are willing to risk for you Detective. I have placed a protective detail on your family and an unmarked vehicle on your street. Go home to your family."

They turn to walk out of her office. "Mr. Castle take care of her, she'll need you." Gates says after Beckett has walked over to Ryan.

"I will, Sir." He nods and walks in towards Beckett.

In the precinct Espo and Ryan come out to see them. Both boys hug Beckett.

"Hey, this is it, Beckett. After so many years, you're finally going to put him behind bars." Espo knows how much this has cost her. He was there when she would spend every waking second on this, when work was her life.

"Go home, go see Martha and Alexis. We drove them to the loft earlier and Martha didn't look to good. She was very quiet." Ryan volunteered, because it was so unlike the Diva to be quiet.

"If you need us, just call." Espo says as Ryan shakes his head in affirmation. Castle knows as they walk to the elevator that Kate is conflicted. She wants to stay and work this, but she knows doing so can damage their case.

When they arrive at the loft, Martha has a huge meal ready for them. Unlike the last time she celebrated life, the boisterous Diva is subdued. Her usual loud greeting with fanfare replaced by a generic calm demeanor.

She comes over and hugs them both tightly. "I'm so happy you're both alive. I don't think I've ever been so scared. I couldn't let him hurt either of you. I don't even feel bad I shot him. He was going to destroy our family, I couldn't let it happen." Her eyes fill with tears and her lip tremble as the emotions she's been hiding finally surface.

She touches Castle's cheek, then Kate's. "You two have gone through so much and that man was going to take everything away."

It's then that Martha finally falls apart. Heart wrenching sobs she can't control. Castle and Kate move her towards the sofa, to sit down.

"He would have killed us mother. That was his intention all along, and if you hadn't been there he would have succeeded. You didn't kill him. He was awake and talking when we saw him today at the hospital, and he's going away for a long time." Castle has never seen Martha like this. Even during the bank robbery she kept her cool, and when they were rescued she was her loud crazy self. McCord had been right when she said to keep an eye on her.

"Do you want to talk about it, Martha?" Kate reaches for her hand. "If there's anything I can do to help."

"What is there to say? It was the most terrifying moment of my life. Ten minutes max that defines how minuscule most of our troubles are. I can't close my eyes without seeing him in the doorway pointing that gun at the two of you. I didn't even think. I heard him, took your gun and shot the man, and I don't feel bad about it."

"So what is it that's bothering you the most, Mother?"

"You, you and Kate. It has never been brought so close to home what you two do. How often have you been in that predicament? How many times have I almost lost the two of you and didn't even know it?" She cries until she has no more tears, and Castle and Beckett hold her. When it's quiet it's even worse.

The silence is deafening.

**Please visit /:support dot woundedwarriorproject dot org. I know PTSD affects so many people who have gone through extreme trauma. Please, if you can donate it would be appreciated. Thank you to all of have donated!**

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	24. Chapter 24

**Two more chapters, one will come before Monday the rest will be a wrap up that will get up soon afterward. I will have written four chapters in three days! This has been a challenge and an adventure. Met some great people, got some excellent help, that this story wouldn't be what it is without it! Thank you guys for the encouragement, reviews and Pm's, follows and faves! You rock!**

It's been a week since they've had any private time together. Walking into their room they fall into bed exhausted. Stripping down to their underwear, they find each other in the middle of the bed. It's her who after 20 minutes and no sign of sleep starts to explore and map the contours of his body. She peppers soft, open mouth, kisses across his chest. She's always appreciated his physique even at the beginning, had always wondered what his fingers would feel like, how his lips would taste. So many nights he was the object of her late night fantasies. She closes her eyes and bites her lip as she remembers.

His body instantly responds to her touch, exhaustion be damned. Her lips graze the rim of his ear as she whispers, "Make love to me, Castle. I need you." When he touches her everything else disappears. His fingers dance across her skin making her burn with desire. They're joined in the most intimate of ways in minutes, their love is the only thing that matters, and she feels safe in his arms. Finally they succumb to sleep.

Morning finds Martha cooking breakfast her mood slightly improved as everyone shares in the meal. Beckett wants to find time today to talk to her about seeing someone. Maybe Dr. Burke could recommend someone. She's worried about her.

During breakfast Ryan and Espo call to catch them up with recent events. McCord, with Villiantes approval, has received more help in the way of agents, and arrests were being made. Three uniforms from the 12th were currently in custody. In the mayors office a long time secretary and clerk, Bracken's staff was being questioned, and his campaign manager, accountant, and his PR agent had been booked and processed. The list was growing as they went through files and ledgers. Some people were being brought in as witnesses. The only negative point is that Bracken was still missing and there had been no activity on his credit cards or banks. He had just disappeared. When they finish talking she returns to the kitchen to have breakfast with her family.

Beckett's phone rings and she moves away from the kitchen for privacy. She doesn't recognize the number.

"Beckett." She answers.

"Katherine, what your looking for is at the abandoned diner at 357 West St. You'll find it in the pantry near the back of the diner. I'll give you an hour before I call the police." Then there is a click and the connection is lost.

She turns back to the group and looks at Castle who is studying her, as he approaches her.

"Castle, I think that was your father." She whispers. "He told me where Bracken is. He told me he'll give me an hour before he calls the police."

"Kate..." He starts before she interrupts him.

"I won't kill him Castle, I want him to pay for what he's done to me and so many people. I want people to know what he's done. We can call Gates on the way and tell her we got an anonymous tip. Hunt would have called on a burner phone. It won't be traced, so they'll never know where it came from. We just have to get out of here.

In less than 10 minutes they're out the front door on the way to their favorite coffee shop, with their tag along not far behind. When the detail remains outside, they easily slip through the crowd and out the back door.

A few minutes later she pulls out her cell and calls Gates. "Sir, this is Beckett. we're going to an abandoned diner on 357 West St. I got an anonymous phone call telling me that Bracken is being held at this location. We are on our way."

"Detective Beckett don't do anything you'll regret. Is Castle with you?" Hoping that Castle can talk her down if needed, she knew without any doubt Beckett would beat her there.

"Yes, yes he is, Sir. I won't do anything to jeopardize this case."

"We're on our way." Gates hangs up and quickly gathers the team together. After just a minute they are racing off to the location.

Before entering the diner they slip on gloves. The diner has been abandoned for a long time. There is no evidence of anyone being there from the outside. They move the piece of plywood blocking the entry way without difficulty. The sound of critters scurrying away reach their ears. There's a mattress, trash and food everywhere. Evidence that until recently there had been squatters.

Beckett pulls out her gun and proceeds deeper into the diner. When she gets to the back, she sees Jackson Hunt for an instant before he disappears through a back door.

"Castle did you see that?" She says quietly over her shoulder as she points in the direction he disappeared to with her left hand keeping her gun pointed in a safe direction. He nods and signals her to keep going. Her time is limited the sound of sirens can be heard approaching.

They open the door and the first thing that assaults them is the stench pouring from the room. They gag, but continue forward, their eyes adjusting to the near darkness. Only the glare from the television in the corner, lights the room. Castle notices the FOX channel coverage of the search for Bracken is playing. It's then they see him, tied to the chair, broken and sitting in his filth. She does not enter.

Within minutes she hears the skidding of tires and orders yelled out as the the officers from the twelfth enter the diner. Espo and Ryan are the first to enter, and spot Castle and Beckett standing at the doorway.

She walks in with Ryan, Espo, and Castle right behind her. His eyes are open but clouded over; he's breathing and alive. Ignoring the stench she walks right up to him, only inches from his face. Makes sure he focuses and can see her before she says anything.

"It's over Bracken, I hold all the cards now. You're going to pay for the death of my mother and everyone else you put in the ground. I hope you rot in hell." He struggles in his restraints for a minute before he quiets.

She turns and walks to the wall facing him, where she stands with Castle. She holsters her gun, and waits for the rest of the Calvary.

"Dear god, what's that smell." She hears Gates exclaim as she leads the rest of the group into the room. As her eyes adjust she sees Bracken restrained in the middle of the room, Castle and Beckett standing against a far wall.

"Detective. How long have you been here? Did you see anything?" McCord asks as she scans the room.

"We moved the plywood at the front door and made our way back here. We haven't touched anything and we haven't moved him. We didn't see anyone else when we got here or during our search. We didn't enter the room until Espo and Ryan could accompany us. We've not been alone with him." Beckett responds calmly.

Gates walks over to Beckett. "I've got something for you Detective." She reaches into her jacket pockets and pulls out Beckett's badge and gun. "I think this should be your collar. You're the one who never gave up and uncovered the truth."

Bracken is getting his bearings and gathering his wits. His eyes finally fully focus on her. " You bitch, your meddling mother got what she had coming to her. You should have died at the funeral. You couldn't leave well enough alone. None of this would have happened if you had died!"

Ryan cuts him lose and he falls to the ground in his filth. No one moves to help him. "You're exactly where you belong, you maggot." Ryan points out.

"Get me up, I'm a United States State Senator. I can have all your jobs." He screams angrily.

Gates steps up to him. "You are a under our custody, Mr. Bracken. The country has no use for you as a Senator." She looks over at Beckett and nods. The boys reach down and pull him up on his feet. Beckett walks over to him and pulls his arm to snap the cuffs on. "William Bracken, you are under arrest for the murder of Johanna Beckett, conspiracy to murder me, and a long list of other charges. But these two will do for now. Anything you say can and will and be used against you in a court of law..."

Castle watches her closely. There is no smile on her face, no feeling of victory. He can see how strained her voice is, and how rigid her posture is. She's keeping it together, but it's taking everything she has. She fools everyone else, but not him.

**Thank you to those who have contributed. Go to /:support dot woundedwarriorproject dot org. I know PTSD affects many people who have gone through extreme trauma. Please, if you can donate it would be appreciated. **

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	25. Chapter 25

**Thank you for all your kind words. So, only one chapter left of this one, it is a wrap up chapter, with some of the chapter being in the present and the rest in the future. I've decided to write it after tomorrow episode. The outcome of tomorrow won't make a difference to my story now. I hope you'll still come back and read it. Thank you to my PTSD expert, my gun and gory death person, my beta and by BFFL who does whatever I ask her to do. You guys really made this possible! If it wasn't for the great characters created by Andrew Marlowe, and the masterful acting of our cast, my story wouldn't be possible.**

Beckett and Castle slide silently into Gates' cruiser. As soon as they're settled she reaches for his hand, but doesn't say a word, doesn't even glance in his direction. Her eyes stare blindly out the front window, her lips tight, so distracted she doesn't notice the two other occupants of the car taking occasional glances in her direction. They arrive at the precinct in record time, one of those rare occurrences where traffic seems to work to their advantage.

The boys take Bracken to be processed as the rest go up to homicide. Castle is actually getting worried, she hasn't made a sound since she read Bracken his rights. Walking through the bullpen they reach Beckett's desk. She places her coat across the back of her chair.

"Mr. Castle, Detective Beckett may I have a word with you in my office please?" This isn't a request but a kindly veiled order. They both follow her. "Kindly take a seat." And she motions towards the sofa in her office. She walks to the front of her desk and leans back against it.

"Kate," Beckett's eyes spring up and meet hers. Her Captain rarely if ever has uses her given name to address her. "I'm going to step out of my office. You two have as much time as you need."

She gets up and closes the blinds facing the buzzing bullpen as she speaks. "Today, everything that happened, happened because you never gave up, Detective. It's has consumed most your of entire adult life, shaped who you are. I can't begin to imagine everything you may be feeling and experiencing, but I can tell that you need the space and time with Castle by your side. You can go home, but it doubt I can get you to step out that door until you see him processed. So, this is the best I can do. Take your time, and remember your family is right outside that door and will stand by you and help you in anyway we can." With that she turns towards Castle and gives him a warm smile, as she walks out the door she adds. "Take care of her."

There is so much space between them on the sofa. She's at least an arms length away. Her chin drops against her chest. The silence is crushing, and for once Castle is at a loss for words.

"Kate." He scoots closer to her.

He reaches for her and draws her against him, kissing the top of her head as he wraps his arms around her. It's then he feels the tears splash against his arm and he lifts her face towards him. What he sees breaks his heart.

"I wanted to rush in there, Castle. I wanted to walk right up to him and stick my glock against his forehead and pull the damn trigger. I wanted him to die slowly, so he knew what my mother went through alone in that alley. Give him the same horrible death he gave her. I wanted him dead." It's then the torrent of tears starts, the damn finally breaks and years of pent up emotions come spilling out.

"I thought I would finally get closure, but I don't feel that. He's going to jail, and he'll probably never get out, but I'll never get her back, Castle. I've worked so hard for this, and she won't be there at our wedding. She won't be there when I go into labor. She'll never meet you or our children. I feel her loss today as strongly as I did the day she was killed." Her body shakes with unrestrained sobs, tears stream irrepressibly down her cheeks and soak into his shirt creating dark sapphire splashes across his shirt.

"I thought it would feel different. I thought I'd want to celebrate, but this hurts, Castle. I don't do this, I don't break, but I'm broken."

"Kate, for years you've kept your emotions in check. You've spent the last 15 years knowing that there was something wrong, and getting nowhere. Even when you weren't actively investigating it was always with you. It isn't anything you can just forget." He holds her tightly wishing he could carry her burden. They sit quietly until she has exhausted herself and there are no more tears to shed.

After blowing her nose and getting herself as put together as possible there's a knock at the Captain's door. Espo and Ryan peek in and slide the door closed behind them. They've never seen Beckett this distraught and it pains them.

"Hey guys, we just wanted you to know we're here if you need anything." Ryan says as he approaches them.

"We have your backs, and he's going to pay, Beckett. The case is rock solid. The four partners sit silently in Gates office. A family stronger than many created by blood.

Meanwhile, 24 blocks away, what went around was going to come around.

The trauma center was easy to scope, getting his name on the list carried by the officers at the door had been even easier with his contacts. The ID on his doctor's scrubs is an excellent forgery, everything has been easier than he thought. Walking to the floor below Vulcan he approaches the fire alarm at the far end of the corridor near the stairs. After a quick review of his plan, he pulls the fire alarm and sprints for the stairs. He moves with the athletic balance and grace of a much younger man. Time is of the essence, and he only has a few minutes to get this done.

He makes it to the next floor in record time. Vulcan's room is only two doors down. Rooms are getting evacuated. He approaches the officer outside Simmons' room and shows his badge. The officer locates it on the visitors and employee list and looks up expectantly.

"We need help getting everyone out. If you can help one of the nurses in another room, I'll get Mr. Simmons ready. He'll stay cuffed in his bed and be rolled out here. We'll wait here for you to come out." He directs the officer as expected.

The officers agree and move to comply. The Dr. slips quietly into the room, nods to the cop sitting on the far side of the bed and goes to the IV administering Pavulon, a muscle relaxant given to people being executed. Rendering Simmons completely immobile. The drug is administered directly to the blood stream and takes effect immediately. To the policeman, this looks like the patient is being prepared for evacuation. Simmons can't move but he is conscious. The doctor walks around to the other side of the bed to disconnect other tubes. His right hand tightly gripping the tranquilizer dart in his pocket. Walking by the cop he drives the dart into his neck and within seconds he drops to the floor.

Vulcan's eyes are wide with fear as a wide strip of tape is placed roughly across his lips. He wants Simmons to die the horrible death he deserves. Without warning he rips the sterile white blanket back and jams an 8" stiletto up through the pelvic gap and wrenches it around violently ripping Simmons guts, bladder and stomach to shreds. The damage is way beyond any possibility of repair. The doctor looks at him for a moment with tremendous satisfaction and says, "Have an awful death and burn in hell forever."

Simmons stares in wide eyed terror convulsing with pain as he struggles with his fate. Hunt knows without immediate attention Simmons will die a horrific death and with the hospital in turmoil there good chance of that happening. The irreparable damage to his internal organs renders his body beyond any hope of repair and he watches as the contents of his bladder and stomach, as well as rivers of blood gush from his body. Hunt to slips out undetected amid the total chaos. His work is done and he can once again disappear into the ether.

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	26. Chapter 26

**We have come to the end of this story. I'm kind of sad too see it end. Thank you to everyone for all the reviews, favorites, and follow, you guys encouraged me to continue when I hit dead ends and didn't know what to do. To the incredible group of people who helped make this story possible. A great author who's stories I adore, the sweet gentlemen who helped me greatly learning about PTSD. Can't forget my great ammunitions and killing expert (you are to me!) who also helped me with some grammar and story development. To my wonderful Beta, who didn't tell me to take a hike when she was getting chapters everyday or every other day. Finally to my BFFL who kept telling me I could do it, when I wanted to quit at the end cu I was fried! I owe you all a standing ovation!**

Their feet slide heavy and slow over the sidewalk as they finally reach the loft entrance. It's a new doorman already and rolling waves of exhaustion and grief threaten to consume them before they make it to the elevator. ID in hand Castle waves it towards the doorman and then says hello to LT who is still staked out in the lobby, under Gates' orders.

The elevator ride seems to take forever, and he feels her sink against chest, trying to find warmth and comfort in the safety of his arms. It's the only place she's found real peace in last couple of years. When the doors slide open he walks slowly towards his door, with his arm around her shoulder, and hers gripping his shirt on the other side of his waist. She squeezes him towards her, she just can't seem to get close enough, almost afraid to let go.

"I'm so tired, Castle." She mumbles, and she sounds so young and vulnerable to him. His mother, daughter and Jim are there waiting for them when the door opens. They've seen the footage of Gates' and the Governors' press conferences on TV and Bracken's "perp walk" out of the State House.

Dinner is quick, as the family notices the exhaustion continuing to settle in On the couple. Kate walks her father to the front door. He takes her hands and holds them between his, and looks into her tired eyes.

"If I'd lost you to this Katie, my life would have been over. I'm grateful you caught him, but your life was never a trade off anyone here was willing to pay but you. Look carefully around you at what you have built. It's not traditional, but it's better than most. Friends who put their job and life on the line for you. Martha and Alexis whom would do anything for you. A man who would risk it all for you, and me. Hold it tight and close, don't risk away something so special, Katie-bug." He kisses her on the cheek and gives her a quick hug.

"I won't dad, I love you." She says as she closes the door behind him, and leans up against it. She looks out at the Castle clan sitting at the table, all animated and still talking. She never thought she'd have this again, yet here it is in front of her, a future she never thought possible.

Not long later, everyone decides to head to their own rooms. It's been a long day. Slowly undressing her, Castle kisses her reverently making sure she knows how loved she truely is. She melts into his arms and then drops gently into the bed. When he joins her lips brush softly against the fine stubble of his chin. She burrow her face into his neck and wrap her arms around his body. Their legs tangle together until there's precious little space between them. It's then that the tension slowly seeps out of their limbs and they finally relax. It's not long before the lovers fall asleep.

That night she dreams of children and grandchildren, of weddings and recitals and for once she sees herself in all of it.

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The courtroom is jammed packed with families, hand picked media outlets; and officers, no unauthorized personnel are allowed to give the families privacy at this time. Kate and her family sit in the center front row.

The judge raps the gavel loudly and clears his throat.

"Will the Jury Foreperson please stand?"

A well dressed woman stands, her eyes skims over the crowd and return to the judge. The white paper clutched tightly in her hand.

"Has the Jury reached a unanimous Verdict?

"Yes, we have Your Honor," she says in a clear voice, with the tiniest glimpse of a smile as she looks over to the families.

The Clerk takes the verdict from the Foreperson and walks it to the Judge who reads it carefully and looks up at the crowd assembled before him.

"Will the defendant please, rise?"

The Judge begins her recital of their findings, "On the three counts of blackmail, guilty. On the three charges of conspiracy to commit murder, guilty, on the 5 counts of murder in the first degree, guilty, on the ..."

As the litany of charges continues with each followed by the judgment of guilty, Kate's mind begins to wander away from the court room to a mental image of her mother's headstone. The image is so clear in her mind, the texture of the stone, the roughness of the letters that posts their message to her for all time. She can't bring her mother back, but the significance of the moment hits her hard when she realizes this is finally the end of it all. It is well and truly over. This trial will withstand any appeal. The evidence and testimony is iron clad. She'a free. For the first time since that fateful night, when she was 19, her life is finally her own. Her mind returns to the courtroom just in time to hear the Judge say,

"Sentencing for the defendant will take place here on July 13, 2018." The Judge turns and faces the jury. "Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, we thank you for your service, you are now excused. This court is now adjourned."

The families in the center section hug each other and cry, as they finally get the justice they've longed for so long. Bracken stands stoically staring at Beckett and her family as they put the cuffs around his wrists. She feels his eyes on her as she swaddles the fussy infant dressed in pink in her arms. Their eyes meet and she stares him down. He can't hurt her or her family anymore. In the four years since he's been incarcerated he has seen most if not all of his conspirators taken down. He has nothing left but life in prison with no parole. Turning away she helps Castle with their two year old son, then Jim Beckett swings the boy onto his shoulders as he starts to walk out of the room. She takes one last glimpse as he's gets escorted out of the courtroom by armed guards.

As they walk out of the front doors of the NYC Court House cameras are everywhere and reporters push and shove trying to get an interview. Someone asks her how she feels and she stops to answer.

"I feel relieved and grateful to be finally putting this behind me. I want to thank Detectives Javier Esposito and Detective Kevin Ryan for their hard work, dedication, loyalty. Medical Examiner, Lanie Pariish for her dedication to her job, her kindness and loyalty. Retired Captain Victoria Gates for standing by me, her devotion to her department, and the long hours of work she put in to this. To my family, Dad, Martha and Alexis who never once wavered in their love and dedication. Finally to my husband, my rock, my everything, who without him none of this would have ever been possible. Now ladies and gentlemen, I would just like to go home with my family." She turns to Castle who wraps his arm around her and their youngest daughter, as they walk towards the waiting cars. As she approaches the car, she gives the baby to Martha. She turns towards her husband and gently kisses him. The camera flashes go crazy as everyone takes pictures, then they turn and get into the car...

**The End**

**I'm thinking of doing a ficathon, just not sure I have it in me to do another long one. I'll let you all know real soon. Thank you again fir reading...if you haven't reviewed please do so now and let me know what you liked and didn't like. Thank you all again! Can't wait until Monday!**


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